


no it don't feel like sleep when i'm this alive it's true (i believe in you)

by coffee_music_books



Series: line by line [2]
Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F, SUPER canon divergent, Soulmate AU, seeing each other in your dreams
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2018-12-14 13:20:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11783994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffee_music_books/pseuds/coffee_music_books
Summary: They say when you have your first soulmate dream, your whole life changes.ORWaverly and Nicole find each other in any universe, of this I am certain





	1. no i've never seen the sky as vanilla as tonight

**Author's Note:**

> Fic title and chapter titles taken from the song "I Believe In You" by Tyler Hilton
> 
> this work is hella canon divergent, soulmate!AU, please let me know how you feel in the comments!

It's a night just like any other night.

 

They say when you have your first soulmate dream, your whole life changes. Waverly is expecting fireworks, birds to sing,  _anything_ to happen that tells her  _today is the day your whole life is going to change_.

 

But, no. It's the least remarkable thing in the world.

 

She wakes up early in the bedroom she no longer shares with Wynonna--ever since Willa left for college, Wynonna's taken to sleeping in her old room. She walks bleary-eyed to the jack-and-jill bathroom to brush her teeth. She dresses, like any other day, and does her hair up in the special curled ponytail for cheerleading practice after school and starts up the Keurig in the kitchen to brew coffee for her and Wynonna.

 

They leave for school in the jeep, Waverly driving so that Wynonna can nap in the car, just like any other day.

 

Waverly pretends to pay attention in class, pretends that the salad she buys for lunch isn't horrifying, pretends not to hear Champ and his idiot friends wolf-whistle as she bends to tie up her boot laces, pretends like the choreography Stephanie Jones has chosen isn't  _way_ too easy for her.

 

Waverly does her homework and makes Mac-and-cheese for her and Wynonna, since Mama's working late at the veterinary office and Daddy doesn't like to come home from the station before sundown.

 

She takes a shower, tosses her clothes in the laundry, brushes her teeth and gets into bed. 

 

It's a day just like any other. 

 

But when she falls asleep, her dream is anything but.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Nicole doesn't  _believe_ in soulmates. 

 

Mom and Papa aren't soulmates; Papa didn't even  _have_ a soulmate dream, and Mom never met her soulmate since she was already engaged to Papa when she had her dream.

 

All in all, she thinks the soulmate thing is kind of stupid.

 

Why is  _the universe_ so wise that it can choose who you fall in love with? Does the universe respect sexualities? Does the universe account for people changing or dying, or not liking each other in the first place?

 

Will Nicole's soulmate even  _like_ her?

 

Nicole hopes she ends up like Papa, never having a dream and finding love anyway, with someone who  _chose_ him. Nicole likes the idea of free will.

 

So when she has her soulmate dream, she's less than receptive, so to speak.

 

It's a regular night, Nicole's gone to bed later than usual because her ACT tutor is on Tuesdays after track meets. She's mentally and physically exhausted and looking forward to a good night's sleep.

 

Soulmate dreams, she learns, are not restful.

 

She remembers her head hitting the pillow. She remembers feeling her breath even, feeling sleep settle, heavy and warm over her body. She remembers hearing the hum of the humidifier in her bedroom lull her gently into slumber.

 

She does  _not_ remember traveling to a big, open field. She does  _not_ remember it being daytime--in the  _spring_ , no less, it was early winter when she fell asleep--and she doesn't remember buying this dress.

 

Most of all, she doesn't remember ever meeting this girl before.

 

This girl is  _beautiful_. She has long, light-brown hair that blows in calm waves over her shoulders in the light breeze. She hasn't noticed Nicole standing there yet, too busy examining the clothes she's in--Nicole guesses she doesn't recognize them either. Her body is small and thin and lithe, muscular like a natural athlete, but petite and feminine and  _so beautiful_. Her skin is a light tan, and when she looks up finally and sees Nicole, her eyes flash with excitement and her smile is sunshine.  

 

Nicole waves dumbly as the mystery girl approaches, feeling her cheeks color.

 

She wishes she'd known that she was going to have her soulmate dream, so she could've at least mentally prepared.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Waverly is  _ecstatic_. 

 

"Hi!" she screams, running across the field. She didn't know what she expected, but she's surprised to be in this nameless landscape with this person.

 

 _This person_.

 

She looks startled, that's for sure. She has bright orange hair that shimmers in the sunlight, and her fair skin seems to take on an ethereal glow. She's pulling at her dress with one hand, waving at Waverly slowly with the other. She's tall, thin, and when she flashes a nervous smile, Waverly sees the most perfect dimple crater her cheek.

 

"Hi," Waverly tries again, slowing to a stop in front of the stranger-- _her_ stranger. The girl is tall, much taller than Waverly, and Waverly has to look up to look her in the eye. She stands perfectly straight, watching Waverly with a skeptical quirk in her brow. "I'm Waverly." Waverly thrusts out a hand. "And you're my soulmate."

 

Waverly's soulmate bursts out laughing. 

 

Waverly frowns. 

 

"No  _way_ ," she grunts around laughter, keeling over and wrapping her arms around her middle. Her face is flushed and her eyes are shut tightly, and she reaches up with a finger to wipe what Waverly surmises is a tear from the corner of her eye. "There's  _no_ way this is really happening. I must be  _way_ more tired than I thought." She looks at Waverly again, as if just remembering that Waverly is there, and shakes her head. "You can't be real."

 

Waverly's frown deepens. "Um, excuse me?" She pulls her hand back, folding her arms in front of her chest. "Of  _course_ I'm real. This is our soulmate dream. Duh."

 

The girl shakes her head, her red locks shaking across her cheeks with the movement. "There's just no way I have a soulmate. How do I know you're real?"

 

Waverly shrugs. "Well, how about your name first? If I was just a figment of your imagination, I would already know your name, wouldn't I?"

 

The girl looks unconvinced, but she begrudgingly responds, "Nicole."

 

"Nicole," Waverly repeats, tasting it on her tongue. "Well, Nicole, how do I prove to you that I exist?"

 

Nicole blinks. 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Nicole refuses to believe she's stuck with a soulmate. "Shit," she mumbles under her breath. "Shit, shit, shit!" She starts pacing, pressing a hand to her chest.

 

Her  _soulmate_ , Waverly, frowns. "Um, ouch?" she says, watching Nicole carefully. "What's your deal?"

 

"I  _can't_ have a soulmate," Nicole says, still pacing. "I'm supposed to have a  _choice_." She throws her hands up in the air and tosses her head back. "What the  _hell_!" she shrieks at the blue sky,

 

"Wait, what?" Waverly asks. She stalks forward so that she's right in front of Nicole. "What do you mean, you're supposed to have a choice?"

 

Nicole rolls her eyes. "My parents aren't soulmates. They  _chose_ each other, and they  _love_ each other." Nicole runs her hand roughly through her hair. "That was supposed to be me, too, someday." 

 

Waverly looks into her eyes carefully. She sees sadness, maybe even a hint of tears pooling. She shakes her head. "What makes you think you don't still have a choice?" she says carefully.

 

Nicole glares at her. "What do you  _mean_? Obviously now we're  _stuck_ with each other!" She starts pacing again, shoulder brushing past Waverly's carelessly.

 

Well. That stings.

 

"Hold on!" Waverly shouts. She's reaching her limit of being treated so callously. "The way  _I_ see it, we totally still have a choice!" Waverly chances a teeny, tiny smile. "We have to  _choose_ each other from now on. You know how the dreams work, right?"

 

Nicole frowns. "Well," she says, rubbing a sheepish hand over the back of her neck. "Not totally. I wasn't really  _educated_ on the concept of soulmates much as a kid, for obvious reasons."

 

Waverly smiles, gently, but she really smiles. "The first dream lets us meet. But from now on, we have to keep  _choosing_ each other. Nothing is guaranteed, and nothing is forced. Okay?"

 

Nicole looks at Waverly. She scans her face, from her bright, open eyes to her careful smile. She feels relief settle in her chest, and even the slightest hint of hope tickling the back of her mind. "Okay."

 

 

 

 


	2. and it's here i hold you close when i finally close my eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wind blows again, rustling the leaves and Waverly's hair and Nicole's cropped locks, and Waverly chances a glance at Nicole again. Her red hair is short and wavy and thick, and Waverly wonders what it would feel like to run her fingers through it.
> 
> OR 
> 
> Waverly and Nicole getting to know each other in a dream

Nicole learns that she really likes Waverly.

 

She learns a lot, actually.

 

"Okay, siblings?" she asks. Nicole and Waverly have settled side by side under a large tree in the field. Every so often, a light breeze with rustle the branches and the grass and blow Waverly's hair against the skin of Nicole's arm. It's nice and peaceful here in their own little world. They've taken to playing a sort of twenty-questions-style game to get to know one another, now that Nicole has calmed down. 

 

"Two," Waverly responds, scratching her knee. "Willa, she's away at college, and Wynonna, she's a senior."

 

Nicole snorts. "Willa and Wynonna? Really?"

 

Waverly looks at the side of her face. "What?"

 

"Is it a thing in your family to, like, only use names that start with 'W'?" Nicole looks at Waverly, smirking.

 

Waverly rolls her eyes. "My dad's name is Ward. It's a his-family thing," she mumbles. Nicole chuckles again, and Waverly shoves her shoulder lightly. "Alright, okay. What about you, smart ass? Any siblings?"

 

Nicole shrugs off Waverly's hand. "Just one, my little brother Tyler."

 

"Are you guys close?" Waverly asks.

 

Nicole nods. "Yeah, he's my best friend." She studies Waverly's face as she asks, "how about you and your sisters?"

 

Waverly swallows, thinking carefully. "Um, yeah, Wynonna and I are close." She shrugs. "Willa and I--er, we're just really far apart in age. So it's hard."

 

Nicole nods. She wants to ask more, to press this beautiful stranger. But she gets lost in the curve of her jaw, in the line of her nose in the portrait of her face, in the gentle swell of her cheekbone. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

When Nicole doesn't say anything, Waverly looks up. And she sees that Nicole is staring. "What?"

 

Nicole shakes her head and clears her throat. "Nothing." Waverly sees a flush spread across her cheeks, and she grins, suddenly bashful. 

 

It's quiet for a while, Nicole digging her toes into the grass and Waverly picking at a loose thread in her dress. The wind blows again, rustling the leaves and Waverly's hair and Nicole's cropped locks, and Waverly chances a glance at Nicole again. Her red hair is short and wavy and thick, and Waverly wonders what it would feel like to run her fingers through it.

 

"Do you have any secret talents?" Waverly asks suddenly. Nicole's shoulders jump, as though she's startled, and she looks over at Waverly quickly.

 

Nicole shrugs. "Not really. I can run a five-and-a-half minute mile, but I run track, so it's not really a secret." Waverly nods. "My dad taught me how to play guitar and I'm pretty good."

 

Waverly smiles. "That's cool," she murmurs. "You'll have to show me some time."

 

Nicole looks at Waverly with a soft smile on her face. "Yeah. I guess I will."

 

 

* * *

 

  

"So," Nicole says, breaking another bout of silence. The field they're in is sprawling and seems to go on forever. The sun doesn't move in the sky and the breeze comes regularly, as though it's timed. "How long are we stuck here anyway?"

 

Waverly shrugs. "I dunno. Are you bored?" She looks at Nicole carefully.

 

"Wha- no," Nicole says quickly. Waverly's timid, shrinking ever so slightly in on herself, and though she doesn't know quite why, Nicole is anxious to reassure her. "I just--like, are we always going to be in this field?"

 

Waverly's body seems to relax, and Nicole releases a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. "These dreams are like lucid dreams." Nicole stares blankly at Waverly. "We can control them ourselves if we think hard enough," she explains through a smile. 

 

Nicole's eyebrows raise on her forehead. "Really?" she asks, disbelief clear in her voice. Waverly nods, making a face that clearly says  _duh_. "So, like, if I wanted to go to the beach, we could just go?" Nicole asks.

 

"Yeah, I guess." The words are hardly out of Waverly's mouth when Nicole's eyes squeeze shut. Creases form in the corners and suddenly Waverly isn't wearing a dress sitting in a field of grass.

 

The sand is sticky and damp underneath her, rough between her toes and under her heels and against the undersides of her legs. She looks around sharply, glancing back and forth quickly in surprise.

 

 _Damn_  if Nicole isn't a fast learner.

 

They're in a cove that looks like something Waverly would've seen in a travel magazine or something. Again, they're alone, and when she gazes over the horizon, it doesn't look like there's any land for miles and miles. She smells salty air and hears the crash of the water on the shore, and she feels calm, leaning back into the sand on her elbows and pointing her face towards the sun, eyes closed.

 

She hears Nicole make a squeaking noise and her eyes open, startled. Nicole is looking down at Waverly's body, no longer in that awful dress but in a baby blue bikini, and Waverly sits up, body rolling in on itself. "What?" she asks, suddenly self-conscious. She wraps her arms around her middle.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Nicole doesn't know why she's surprised, but, well, Waverly is  _hot_. Nicole watches the muscles shift and coil and flex under her skin as she repositions herself in the sand, and her mouth runs suddenly dry.

 

Waverly catches her staring, and she clams up. "Uh, nothing," she says, looking away quickly. She looks down and thumbs the tie of the black bikini she's in--it's still not hers, but at least she  _likes_ this one--trying desperately to shake the sight of Waverly's flat belly from her mind.

 

"I guess the beach might've been too much too soon," Waverly mumbles. She's still covering herself up, and Nicole winces.

 

"No, no," she says. She turns so that she's facing Waverly, and she feels the water lick at her toes. "No, I'm sorry. I just, uh--" She stops, closes her eyes and gathers her thoughts. She settles, flushing as she murmurs, "You're really pretty."

 

Waverly  _beams_ , her smile brighter than the sun's rays on the water. "Thanks," she says, uncurling and tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. 

 

"Listen," Nicole says, suddenly serious. "I don't really know how this works, moving forward. I don't know what you're expecting from me, what you want, I just don't know." She's babbling and fiddling with the tie on her bathing suit more roughly, and Waverly watches her skirting eyes and nervous fingers and she waits. "This dream stuff, soulmate stuff, it really freaks me out. But, I-I," Nicole stutters. She looks at Waverly, catching her gaze and holding it. There's a fierceness in Nicole's stare that makes Waverly's belly flutter. "I think I really like you, and I want to know what to do next."

 

Waverly thinks Nicole, honest and brave in the seaside wind, is the most beautiful thing she's ever seen. She commits it to memory, burning the fear and courage in Nicole's eyes the sun in her hair and the soft smile pulling at the corner of her lips into her mind as best as she can. Then, she closes her eyes tight and thinks  _hard_ \--

 

\--and when she opens them, they're not at the beach anymore. Both dressed in big, fluffy sweaters, they're sitting side by side on a fleece blanket next to a softly burning fire. It's not daytime anymore in their little world, and the stars are clear above their heads, twinkling and dancing beside a big, beautiful moon. 

 

Waverly settles on her back and pulls Nicole down gently next to her. As Nicole settles, Waverly takes her hand and laces their fingers together, studying their skin as the fire flickers beside them. "I don't know much," Waverly says, voice calm and soft. "But I like to think the universe is on my side." She settles her head against Nicole's shoulder and closes her eyes, listening to the crackling fire and Nicole's soft breathing.

 

When she opens her eyes again, she's back in her bed and it's morning. 

 

 


	3. and it never, ever fails, the sun comes up, the story dies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicole didn't think it possible, but she woke up the next morning very nearly in love. And now she has no idea when she's going to see Waverly again.
> 
> OR
> 
> They've woken up, so now what?

Nicole uses the school library to research  _soulmates_ and  _dreams_ and  _soulmate dreams_.

 

There's so little about this that she understands. How did the universe choose her for Waverly, or Waverly for her? How does she find Waverly in the real world?

 

How does she know when she'll see Waverly again? 

  

There's so little left up to her. She was worried about this feeling, this  _helplessness_ that's settled into her life. Time slowed for them in that first dream, and the few hours of the night stretched on for days. They talked about _everything_ , the normal boundaries of "stranger" not applying to them. It's incredibly intimate, to welcome someone into the recesses of your mind the way a shared dream does, and Waverly was warm and kind and comfortable. Nicole didn't think it possible, but she woke up the next morning very nearly in love. 

 

And now she has no idea when she's going to see Waverly again.

 

It's terrifying.

 

Nicole scours online databases, published scientific journals, tweets, and blogs. She reads _Worldbook Encyclopedia_ entries on  _soulmates_ and  _dreams_. She searches YouTube for videos of people relaying personal accounts of their own soulmate dreams. She learns as much as she can, emailing links to herself and taking notes.

 

The only thing she doesn't learn is how to contact Waverly again.

 

Some say that the deeper the sleep, the easier it is to connect. Some say that caffeine blocks connections, so the more coffee you drink the less you see your soulmate. Some even sell snake oil products that claim to help strengthen the bond between soulmates.

 

One clairvoyant claims to be able to connect two soulmates in a "daydream," both fully awake. 

 

Every source she finds says the same thing: the sun comes up, the dream ends, and it's the same sense of _now what_ _?_

 

 

* * *

 

 

 Waverly is  _in love_ , and she's not shy about it.

 

"Wynonna!" she calls, running down the stairs of the homestead. Mama is out with her bridge group and Daddy is still at the station--status quo--so it's just the two of them alone, and Waverly is bursting with the need to  _tell someone_.

 

Wynonna startles, laying prone on the couch and dozing with a plateful of pizza crusts on the coffee table in front of her. She pulls her arm off of her forehead and turns her face to glare. "Waverly, stow the crazy, would ya?" she whines. "What's with the yelling?"

 

Waverly leaps down the final two stairs with a flat-footed  _slam!_ and skids to a stop in front of the couch. "I'm in  _love_ , Wynonna! This is important."

 

Wynonna snears. "What the fuck, Waverly? You sound insane."

 

Waverly rolls her eyes and politely ignores her. "Wy _no_ nna. I had my soulmate dream!"

 

Wynonna turns her body and buries her face into the couch cushions. "Whoopdie-freaking-doo, Waves. Want a medal or a monument?"

 

Waverly plops her body down perpendicularly across Wynonna's, smirking when she hears Wynonna's _ooph_. "Come  _on_ , I need big-sister advice here. What do I do now? What did  _you_ do next, after you had your soulmate dream?" Wyononna rolls her body and Waverly lifts slightly to settle in a space between her legs.

 

"Waves, hon, you know that there's nothing you _can_ do next." She shrugs. "And for the  _last time_ , I'm not telling you  _shit_ about my soulmate or my soulmate dream." Waverly pouts. "Tell me about yours," she deflects. "Was he nice?"

 

Waverly chews her bottom lip. "Um, yeah. And we switched the dream around, like I read about." Wynonna's eyes widen and her jaw drops. "What?"

 

"You switched the dream on your  _first try_?" She leans up on her elbows, hair falling over her shoulders in messy, loose curls. Waverly thinks Wynonna's eyes are especially blue today. "Are you  _serious_?"

 

Waverly shrugs, confused. "Yeah. Why is that such a big deal?"

 

Wynonna releases a stream of hair in a  _puff_ through pursed lips. "That's a strong-ass connection you two have there, babygirl." Wynonna punches Waverly softly on the bicep. "Good for you."

 

Waverly flushes.  _Good for me._

 

 

* * *

 

 

Nicole is frustrated.

 

It's been two weeks since her soulmate dream. Well, it's been eighteen days since her soulmate dream, actually. And she's getting annoyed.

 

 _Why_ would the universe give her a soulmate just to take her  _away_ again? 

 

Nicole is a doer. She's always been a physical person, specializing in the act-first-ask-questions-later mentality. It works for her in sports, trusting her instincts implicitly and always. Her soccer coach always says she's the best goalie he's ever seen.

 

But this soulmate stuff? She doesn't have any instincts anymore. The ones she had, telling her not to trust it and not to feel and not to care, she ignored. (She still can't tell if they'd been right.) 

 

It's humbling in the worst way to want something so much and be powerless to get it.

 

She spends the eighteenth day in a haze, moody and dark and curled in on herself. She guesses that keeping busy helps, but she's cranky and lonely and she thinks of little else besides _Waverly_ and she feels more and more hopeless as the day ticks slowly on. On the evening of the eighteenth day since her soulmate dream, Nicole goes to sleep in dark tiredness, sadness weighing her down into her mattress.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Waverly opens her eyes in a beautiful tree-lined meadow. The grass is too green for this to be anything but a dream, and it's surrounded circumferentially in a near perfect ring of trees. The air is brisk and the leaves are a plethora of beautiful colors beneath the blue sky, and when Waverly looks down, she's wearing her favorite autumn cable-knit sweater, the deep burgundy stitch instantly familiar.

 

When she looks up, she sees Nicole.

 

Nicole hasn't noticed her yet, too busy looking around her and taking in the scenery. Judging by her expression, she recognizes this place. She looks almost bittersweet, a soft smile on her lips but her eyes sad. Her bright red hair is pulled into a bun at the crown of her head and she's wearing what looks like the world's softest grey, speckled sweater. Waverly's fingers itch to run over the material of Nicole's sleeves.

 

"Nicole!" Waverly calls through her wide, excited smile. 

 

As soon as Nicole sets her eyes on Waverly, there's sunlight streaming from her face. Her smile brightens and she breaks into a run. Waverly follows suit and they meet in a crashing hug in the middle of the grass.

 

Nicole's arms wrap around Waverly's middle  _tight_ and Waverly grips around Nicole's neck and they spin, laughing and smiling.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 _Finally_.

 

Hugging Waverly is a  _huge_ sigh of relief, and Nicole has no interest in letting go, especially in this place. She lifts her chin from where it's buried in the space between Waverly's neck and inhales. She smells lavender and honey and she hopes that's what Waverly smells like in the real world. Opening her eyes over Waverly's shoulder, Nicole takes in the clearing again with melancholy burning her eyes. 

 

The details are exactly right, the grass and the trees and the uneven terrain. Even the old rotting tree stump at the south end of the clearing--what she assumes is the south end, this _is_ a dream world so is there even a south--is exactly right. 

 

"I missed you," she hears whispered into her collar bone, and she's pulled from her reverie.

 

She pulls out of the hug, leaning away so that she can look Waverly in the face. "I missed you, too," she breathes, and she means it. The colors of autumn in the atmosphere and all around them make Waverly's eyes look green. "I thought you had hazel eyes?" Nicole hears in her own voice. She winces inwardly.  _Smooth_.

 

"Oh." Waverly grins, shrugs. "They change color."

 

"I love that," Nicole murmurs. 

 

Waverly's smile grows bashful, and she reaches for Nicole's hand. "Come on," she says, turning to walk. "Let's explore. What is this place?"

 

 

* * *

 

 

Nicole nods quietly and offers nothing. She seems to shrink in on herself, shoulders raising almost imperceptibly.

 

Waverly notices, suddenly understands. "What happened to you here, Nicole?" she murmurs. She feels her eyes melt, her body growing soft, and she turns gently so that she's facing Nicole, who suddenly refuses to look her in the eye.

 

Nicole shakes her head, nose scrunched. "No, no, it's nothing like that," she says, waving her off with a flick of her wrist. Her hand is steady and firm in Waverly's, but she feels the tips of her fingers twitch against Waverly's knuckles. 

 

"Okay," Waverly says. "Do you want to tell me about this place?" Waverly's voice is carefully modulated, all quiet murmurs and easy inflection. 

 

Nicole's eyes narrow and her eyebrows draw in.  _Thinking._ Waverly watches the secrets spin behind Nicole's coffee-and-milk eyes, the way she chews sharply on the inside of her cheek and scans the treetops around them. "Not right now," she murmurs, finally turning to look at Waverly again. Her eyes are wet and glistening, and Waverly's chest aches and aches. 

 

"Okay," Waverly says. "If and when you're ready, I'll be here." She smiles.

 

Nicole grins back at her, deep dimples and warm eyes. "I really, _really_ missed you, Waves," she says.

 

Waverly flushes. "Yeah?" Nicole nods. "Me too."

 

 


	4. (and i don't know why) it's so hard to give you up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicole smiles bashfully, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "You're serious about me, huh?" She makes her voice teasing and light, if for no other reason than to see Waverly smile. When she does, it's as bright as the sun. 
> 
> OR
> 
> It's another soulmate dream and Nicole and Waverly are happy.

Waverly closes her eyes tight, pinching at the corners and pressing her lips together. She thinks as hard as she can of the beach, the salty breeze and crunching sand. And Nicole's milky-white skin, shimmering and exposed in the bright sunlight.

 

When she opens them, it's the cove from their first dream, enclosed by some rock formations. The waves crash on the shore with a gentle whisper and Waverly watches Nicole look around and down at herself--back in her black bikini, Waverly was very specific--and grin back at Waverly wryly. "The beach again, Waves?" she asks mirthfully. She mutters "pun intended" with a quick waggle of her eyebrows.

 

Waverly chuckles and shakes her head. "Can you really blame me?" Waverly lifts a hand and points vaguely up and down towards Nicole's body. Nicole rolls her eyes, but Waverly sees the red tint in her cheeks and the tips of her ears.

 

"Okay," Nicole says. She swallows thickly, the smile dripping from her face into a thoughtful frown as she turns to watch the water dance. 

 

"What's on your mind?" Waverly asks. She taps Nicole on the arm and points to the ground before sitting in the sand.

 

Nicole settles beside Waverly in the sand, stretching her legs out in front of her and crossing them at the ankle, eyes firm on the water. "Two and a half weeks," she says by ways of explanation. She sighs, and Waverly watches her face, features contorted and tightened into a confused frown. "We didn't see each other for two and a half weeks. And I don't know about you," Nicole shrugs, turning to look at Waverly's face, "but for me, it wasn't for lack of trying."

 

Waverly smiles. "No. It wasn't just you," she murmurs. Nicole smiles tightly.

 

"Well that's just  _it_ , Waves. Why is it that we can both  _want_ something, the  _same_ thing, and the universe or God or Buddha or  _whoever_ makes us wait  _two and a half weeks_?" Nicole shakes her head and licks her lips. "I was worried about this," she says, voice lowering. She leans back on her elbows, eyes still on Waverly's face. "I was worried about this out-of-control feeling, and I was right. I don't like it."

 

Waverly leans back to mirror Nicole's position. She looks out at the vastness of the water and lets the crashing waves lull them into calmness, and she thinks of missing Nicole, of lying to her sister, of  _wanting_ , and she tries to think of nothing at all.

 

 

* * *

 

  

Waverly is thoughtful and pensive, and Nicole watches the gears turn in her brain through her face. The blue of her bikini brings out the blue in her eyes, and Nicole's chest warms at the familiarity of Waverly's changing irises and she smiles. She traces the outline of Waverly's nose in her profile and the cut of her jaw and drinks it all in like she's found an oasis after being starved of water for days.

 

"I told my sister Wynonna about you," Waverly says suddenly, startling Nicole out of her reverie. "Well, I  _kind of_ told my sister Wynonna about you." Waverly's gaze stays on the water, but her shoulders tighten and lift as though she's ashamed. "She assumed my soulmate dream was with a guy, and I didn't correct her."

 

Nicole nods. "You don't have to tell her anything you don't want to, Waverly."

 

Waverly's glare is harsh when she turns it on Nicole. "I  _should've_ , though. I'm not embarrassed about you, or anything. And Wynonna's not  _like_ that. Willa might be," she adds, dry as the Sahara, "but Wynonna's always on my side. And it's not a big deal to have same-sex soulmates. I've read about them. It's not even  _rare_." Waverly's fingers dig into the sand beneath them. "But I just totally choked." She shakes her head quickly like she's shaking a thought right out of it. "The point of bringing  _that_ up was that I don't want you to think I'm not serious about you. But this is totally scary for me, too, you know."

 

Nicole smiles bashfully, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "You're serious about me, huh?" She makes her voice teasing and light, if for no other reason than to see Waverly smile.

 

When she does, it's as bright as the sun. "Yeah. Are you?"

 

Nicole nods and sits up. She reaches out to pull Waverly with her and keeps Waverly's hand between hers when it's given to her. "Yeah, Waverly. I'm serious about you, too."

 

 

* * *

 

 

"Good," Waverly says. Nicole's skin is soft beneath the rough sand between them, and she plays with Waverly's fingers, contemplative. There's a soft mischievous smile on her lips, and Waverly wishes she knew what was going on in her mind.

 

Nicole starts walking towards the shore, hands still wrapped around Waverly's, pulling her along. The sand gets dense and damp under their feet, chilling with the water. Waverly's toes brush against the cold foam of one of the waves, and she squeals.

 

"Cold!" Waverly says, leaning backwards and pulling Nicole away from the water. 

 

Nicole glances at Waverly's face with a devious twinkle in her eye. Before Waverly can react, Nicole scoops her up against her body and walks as quickly as she can to the water. When she's waist-deep, she yells "hold your breath!" and dunks them both.

 

Waverly comes up, giggling and sputtering and wiping her hair and the water from her eyes. The water is refreshing, she'll admit, and droplets catch in Nicole's eyelashes and shimmer like Christmas lights. "You'd think," Waverly says around her laugh, "that in our dream world, the water might be a little warmer?"

 

Nicole's laughter is loud and free, and Waverly thinks she looks beautiful. Waverly leaps towards her, wrapping her arm around Nicole's neck and shoving her beneath the surface again. Nicole's hand wrap around her waist to support her body as they move through the water.

 

It's incredibly freeing to be able to play, to just  _be_ together this way. Nicole is quiet strength and soft smiles and melting eyes, and she looks at Waverly like Waverly's the moon, bright and brilliant and beautiful. Waverly thinks she's starting to understand this soulmate business, why the universe put them, these two random people, together, and her heart feels warm. Waverly, for the first time, feels like she's found a place she belongs. And that's a beautiful thing.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

They've gotten out of the water, the skin of their fingers wrinkling and pruning and Waverly's lips finally turning purple. There are towels on the sand when they get out--because this is a dream world and, apparently, towels are available to them as they so please--and they wrap themselves in warm terrycloth and sit side by side in the sand, shoulders brushing.

 

Nicole looks at Waverly's face. She thinks about what Waverly said about lying to her sister, about being  _serious_ , and she smiles. Waverly is intense, fierce love and bold intelligence and bravado. Nicole noticed that almost immediately about her. But Nicole doesn't think this  _soulmates_ business is supposed to be about intensity, about trying so hard. 

 

"Waverly," Nicole murmurs, gently getting her attention. Waverly looks up, brushing a lock of wavy hair out of her eyes. "About your sister--" She trails off. She doesn't quite know how to say what she wants to without making ridiculous, sweeping statements.

 

Waverly takes her hesitation as disappointment, and her face falls. "I know,  _I know_. I don't know why I didn't correct her, but I will, I promise."

 

Nicole shakes her head quickly, her eyes wide. "No, no. Waves!" Waverly talks so fast, nerves seizing her tongue, and Nicole struggles to keep up with her. "That's not what I mean." She gives Waverly her most gentle smile and leans a fraction of an inch closer to make her feel safe. Waverly's mouth snaps shut and her eyes slide around sheepishly. 

 

Nicole takes a breath. "What I'm trying to say is--ugh, I don't know. Just tell your sister at your own pace." She shrugs. "I can wait."

 

Waverly's eyes widen, like she doesn't believe Nicole's words--however stilted and awkward they were,  _real smooth, Nicole_ \--and that splits Nicole's heart. "Really?" Her voice is airy and light and careful.

 

Nicole nods slowly. "We have all of the time in the world here," she says, waving her arms around them. "I can wait, Waverly."

 

Waverly's smile is warm like hot cocoa with cinnamon--Nicole's favorite cold-weather drink--and her eyes crease in the corners with it. She leans forward and wraps an arm around Nicole's shoulders, her relieved sigh ghosting over Nicole's skin and making her shiver.

 

 

* * *

 

 

When Waverly pulls away, Nicole's skin has taken on a bizarre, almost sickly translucence, and Waverly frowns. "What?" Nicole asks, confused. She reaches up to touch her face and startles. "Why can't I feel that?" She looks down at her hand and sees her strange coloring and her eyes become wide with fear. "What's going on?"

 

Waverly's heart falls. "You're waking up." She knows what to expect, she's read about it dozens of times; your body starts to literally fade from the dream, and it darkens around you until you open your eyes and it's morning. 

 

Nicole grows more frantic. "Wait! But we're supposed to have time!" Her voice is echoing and ghostly, and it reverberates around the cove and breaks Waverly's heart further.

 

She tries to be strong, offering a small smile. "It's okay, we'll see each other again before we know it."

 

Nicole shakes her head quickly. "No, no! I can't wait that long again. We don't even know how long it'll  _be_!" She looks around frantically. "What's your last name? I'll find you on f--"

 

And then she's gone, and Waverly's alone. She leans back against the sand, propping her head up in her hands, and closes her eyes. She doesn't wait long, and she opens her eyes to her bedroom ceiling with a heavy heart.

 

 

* * *

 

 

"Facebook!" Nicole wakes up startled, yelling. She sits up in her bed and looks around the room. The sun is up and streaming through her window, her alarm blaring from her nightstand. 

 

She pounds her fists against the mattress beneath her, frustrated. "How could you be so  _stupid_?" she yells at herself. 

 

Next time--whenever that'll be, her traitorous brain reminds her--Nicole vows to ask Waverly for her last name  _first thing_. She's going to find this girl, the universe be damned.

 


	5. but too easy to pretend like the way the leaves would fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If I pulled you closer, would you mind?
> 
> OR
> 
> Waverly and Nicole think about each other a lot.

Nicole didn't think there would be so many Waverly's in the world. 

 

She searched "Waverly" in Facebook and has been scouring the results for ninety minutes, carefully scanning each image, clicking the profiles and scrolling through the images. She thinks she must've passed three or four dozen people named Waverly.

 

She sighs, resting her forehead against the heel of her hand. There's a headache blooming between her eyes, which are burning and tearing from staring at a computer screen for so long. The faces are all starting to blend together, random girls across the world that are Waverlys, but aren't  _Waverly_.

 

 _This_ is what Nicole had been afraid of.

 

She knows what it feels like to miss someone. She knows the kind of hollow emptiness, the yearning deep in her belly and the tingling in her fingertips. She wonders what time it is where Waverly is, if the sun really shines off of her hair that way. She wonders how many pillows Waverly likes on her bed, and does she sleep in a cold room or a warm room, and is she thinking about Nicole right now?

 

She wonders if it feels the same to run her fingers over Waverly's skin in real life as it does in her dreams. She wonders if Waverly's heart flutters in her chest when Nicole looks at her, too.

 

She wonders if Waverly is looking for her.

 

Nicole moves from her desk to her bed and lays down with her head hanging off the edge. Her bedroom flips over and the world looks as upside down as she feels, and she heaves a long sigh.

 

 _Whenever you're ready, universe_ , she thinks.

 

 

* * *

 

  

Waverly wakes up and her eyes are wet. She didn't know she could cry in her sleep. 

 

The front door slams shut downstairs--Daddy leaving for the station, she guesses--and an alarm beeps on the other side of the wall behind her head. She hears Wynonna groan and slam an open palm on her old alarm clock, sending it tumbling to the ground, still beeping. She curses under her breath and Waverly hears her pad across her bedroom, kicking the alarm clock into the wall.

 

Wynonna opens the door on her side of the jack-and-jill bathroom and shuffles over the tile floor in her slippers, knocking once on Waverly's door and pushing it open without waiting for a response.

 

Waverly pulls the comforter and three extra throw blankets over her face, burrowing deeper into her mattress and groaning herself. She feels Wynonna fling herself onto the bed and on top of her body, and arm landing over her face  _hard_. Waverly winces beneath the blankets, thankful for the cushion but feeling the ache behind her eye already. "Hello, Wynonna," she greets, dry as the Sahara. 

 

Wynonna responds by moaning into the pillows loudly. Waverly flinches.

 

"Hey, so, how about we  _don't_ yell in my ear?" Waverly jokes. She rolls over onto her side, back to Wynonna, who takes the movement as an invitation to burrow under the covers. 

 

"Let's blow off school today, babygirl," Wynonna says. Her breath is warm against the back of Waverly's neck. 

 

"What?"

 

"Yeah." She pokes at Waverly's side until Waverly shoves her hand away, giggling and flipping onto her back again to look Wynonna in the face. "Let's, like, go shopping or something. Just us."

 

And it sounds  _so_ much better than tutoring Chad Marcus in calculus and pretending to ignore how he answers all of his questions to her cleavage. "Let's do it," Waverly says through a wry grin. 

 

 

* * *

 

  

There's a track meet coming up this weekend and there will be college scouts in the stands, so Nicole has to give up scouring the internet for Waverly at some point. She changes into leggings and warm-up shirt with the Toronto Raptor's logo fading on the front. The waffle knit is thick and soft on her skin. She ties her shoelaces too tight thinking of Waverly's face and drops her headphones between the seat and center console of her car when she gets to the high school track.

 

Practice isn't until after school. Nicole uses her free class period at the end of the school day to get in her own warm-up. She's fast, always has been, and she's been the talk of the town as a shoe-in for a decent scholarship at a division one school, assuming her grades stay as strong as they have been. The sun is high in the sky, casting a bright glow over the red turf of the track. Nicole wonders, perhaps for the millionth time, if it's sunny where Waverly is. 

 

Nicole tucks her cell phone into the special pocket in the waistband of her leggings. She pushes her headphones into her ears with gloved fingers and pulls her cold weather headband over them. Listening to music is against her coach's orders, she knows, but if she doesn't have something to focus on besides running, she thinks she might explode.

 

Waverly's beautiful eyes swim into her mind again and she shakes her head. She can't think about that right now. The song changes, bass thrumming in her brain and setting a tempo, and she starts off on a slow jog.

 

It's inevitable, Nicole knows, to feel the pit of guilt in her stomach. It makes her knees ache and her toes dig into her shoes. 

 

Running always makes her think of Tyler. 

 

She sees his face looking up at her and smiling. His shaggy hair always fell across his eyes and tangled in his eyelashes, more dirty blonde than red. Tyler always had their mother's grey-green eyes, shiny and ethereal and rare. She remembers being five years old and looking at this tiny person in awe and feeling ashamed, jealousy burning at her throat, until her mother taps her under the chin and tells her that her eyes are brown and green like the forest and that makes her special.

 

Nicole runs harder, lungs aching and sweat prickling on her forehead. The air is cold this early afternoon, making her teeth ache and her eyes water. She runs harder and faster still, until she hears the final school bell ring and sees the freshmen all sprint to the buses awaiting them in the parking lot.

 

 

* * *

 

  

Wynonna steals the keys from the bowl by the door before Waverly gets downstairs. She scarfs down a strawberry yogurt and hits Wynonna in the belly when she holds the car keys too high above Waverly's head for her to reach. Wynonna sticks her tongue out, and Waverly sighs and clambers into the passenger's seat in her own car.

 

"I hate that game," Waverly mumbles, arms crossed over her chest and scowl firmly in place. The air in the car is cold with the winter around it, and Waverly's words come out of her mouth in puffs.

 

Wynonna shrugs, noncommittal. "Sucks to be you, short stack," she says. The car starts and Waverly plugs her cell phone into the audio jack and starts the last song she'd played over again. The chorus starts up as they're turning out of the homestead driveway. "This is  _jams_ , kid."

 

Wynonna cranks the volume all the way up and opens the windows (even though it's single-digit degrees outside). She speeds down the one-lane road and she and Waverly sing loudly to music only Waverly actually knows the words to, and Wynonna flicks her in the ear every time Waverly laughs at her fumbling the lyrics.

 

They pull up to the mall in the next town over and waste the day away trying on clothes in the huge department store. Waverly spends some of her tip money from the restaurant on a new perfume and Wynonna tries to convince her to buy a cheesy magenta sweater that says  _Glitter Slut_ in rhinestones across the front.

 

They stop over in one of the cafes on the second floor of the mall so Wynonna can pee, and as they're leaving, a couple walks in holding hands. Utterly unremarkable in every way.

 

Waverly can't stop staring at them.

 

They look like complete opposites if you regard them separately. One of them, dressed in a black-and-white plaid flannel, has buzzed hair and tattoos littering her forearms where her shirt is rolled up. The girl in front of her wears all pink, and Waverly bites her tongue because she's always thought those high-heeled sneakers looked stupid, and it isn't really different on this girl either. They look like two diametrically-opposed stereotypes.

 

But the taller girl in black and white leans down and kisses the smaller girl in pink on the cheek, and the smaller girl's smile is bright and warm like the sun. They look at each other like they're staring at a beautiful work of art, and they lean in to kiss as though there's no other reason than that they can. Waverly wonders if they're soulmates or if they're just two people who've found each other, universe be damned. 

 

She thinks of Nicole as the taller girl kisses the other's forehead. Waverly wonders what it would be like to lean forward and press her lips to Nicole's skin because she can. She wonders what Nicole's skin tastes like, if it would taste the same in person as it does in their dreams. She wonders if Nicole thinks of kissing Waverly, too.

 

Wynonna wraps her hand around Waverly's arm and tugs  _hard_. "What the hell, Waves? Stop staring, you creep." 

 

Waverly blinks and trips over the step at the doorway of the cafe. Wynonna catches her roughly. "Sorry, I--sorry." She shakes her head. "They were just cute, that's all." Waverly's cheeks burn as Wynonna scans her face, and Waverly refuses to meet Wynonna's gaze.

 

"Mhm, sure," Wynonna murmurs. There's a note of a question in her voice, and Waverly prays she abandons it. 

 

Wynonna gives it a rest, mercifully, and leads them to the car. Waverly plugs her phone into the audio jack in a daze as Wynonna buckles her seatbelt. "Hey, play that song from this morning," Wynonna says as she starts the car.

 

Waverly pulls up the song and taps it without a word. She thinks of the couple in the coffee shop again and bites her lip. She thinks of kissing Nicole again and her cheeks flame, and she thinks of Nicole in a black-and-white flannel and pink sneaker-heels and her belly feels warm as she swallows a smile. She wonders what it would be like to bunch the fabric of the flannel in her fist and press her lips to Nicole's. She wonders if Nicole would kiss her back.

 

Wynonna dances in the driver's seat as the chorus rolls around. 

 

_If I pulled you closer, would you mind?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song Waverly plays in the car with Wynonna is Would You Mind by PRETTYMUCH


	6. 'til the both of us would end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her whole body feels warm when she sees Waverly smile.
> 
> OR
> 
> Waverly and Nicole meet again, and there are revelations.

Four days. Nicole only has to wait four days for her next soulmate dream. 

 

She comes to in the clearing again, her favorite autumn sweater thick and heavy on her skin. She looks at the trees, the uneven terrain and the tree stump and she sighs. 

 

 _Why here_ _?_

 

When Nicole spins around, Waverly is sitting in the grass by the ring of trees. She's looking at her fingernails and picking at her cuticles--a nasty habit she tells you she got from her sister, Wynonna. She glances up and sees you, and her face brightens immediately.

 

Her whole body feels warm when she sees Waverly smile.

 

She rises and jogs towards Nicole and Nicole meets her halfway, pulling her into a hug immediately. She rests her head against Nicole's collar bone and squeezes Nicole too tight, crushing her ribs. Nicole feels Waverly inhale, her ribs popping and expanding against her hands and arms. "I missed you," Waverly mumbles into Nicole's shoulder.

 

Nicole smooths a hand down the back of Waverly's head against her soft, soft hair. It's wavy in this dream, as though it's just been released from a braid, but soft as ever. Nicole inhales and smells lily-of-the-valley and she tries to pull it all deep into her lungs, secretly hoping against hope that she can take a piece of this dream into the real world with her when it inevitably ends.

 

"I missed you too, Waves."

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Pulling Nicole against her body is its own sweet torture.

 

Nicole is solid and she feels strong and warm against Waverly. Nicole's muscles tense beneath her sweater when Waverly squeezes her too tightly, and Waverly can feel Nicole tremble as she breathes Waverly in.

 

Waverly hasn't been able to stop thinking about kissing her, either, which doesn't totally help.

 

Ever since that day at the mall with Wynonna, all she can think about is sinking her fingers into her hair and pulling her face in. Waverly wonders if Nicole's lips are soft, if she smells like sandalwood all the way up to her hair and if she's a good kisser.

 

Waverly thinks she probably is.

 

Thinking about kissing Nicole makes butterflies and bats and all kinds of winged creatures flutter around in Waverly's belly and chest. It makes her brain move lightning-quick and her heart race--does it race in her real body, too, or just in her dream body?--and she feels out of control, like a tornado or the Tazmanian Devil cartoon she used to watch on Saturday mornings with Wynonna. 

 

Waverly stares at her lips when she says that she's _missed you too, Waves_ \--Waverly used to hate nicknames, but when Nicole uses them they're painfully endearing--and Waverly feels her skin burn beneath her sweater where she touches Nicole. She blushes and mentally kicks herself.

 

"Waves, are you okay?" Nicole asks, brow furrowed. Waverly noticed early on that when Nicole is confused, she cocks her head to the side like a puppy.

 

 _Stupid adorable, kissable Nicole_. Waverly winces internally.  _Stupid painfully-obvious brain_. 

 

"Y-uh, yeah! Yeah, why wouldn't I be? I'm so totally good." Waverly takes a breath, steadying her thrumming heart through sheer force of will. "Yes, I'm okay." Her voice is calmer now, she thinks, but Nicole still has her head tilted, her frown still firmly in place. "I'm much better now, with you."

 

Nicole  _beams_ , bright and beautiful like the full moon at night, and Waverly feels her heart flutter in her chest again. 

 

_Stupid heart._

 

 

* * *

 

 

Nicole looks around again.  _Why here?_ she thinks again. 

 

Nicole and Waverly walk side by side around the clearing. The occasional breeze will sweep through and ruffle the branches and Waverly's hair and Nicole loses herself watching Waverly look so effortlessly beautiful. 

 

"I wonder why we keep coming here," Waverly says. It's not a dig at Nicole's obvious secrecy--Nicole knows by now that Waverly isn't really capable of pressing someone like that--but she feels defensive anyway. 

 

She looks over at Waverly's face again. "Waverly," she says, her voice stilted and sharp. "It's not a good story."

 

Waverly's hazel eyes--they look so impossibly green here--melt as she looks up at Nicole, and it's like a punch to the chest. "Do you know what  _soulmate_ means, Nicole?"

 

Nicole frowns. "Um, I guess. Why?"

 

Waverly shakes her head. "Plato tells a story about soulmates in  _The Symposium_. He says that human beings were original born with four arms and four legs and two faces. The Greek gods punished humans by splitting them in two, so they would live forever longing for their other halves." Waverly pauses, and Nicole sees a universe spinning in her eyes and feels inexplicably hopeful. "He said that if the two halves are lucky enough to find each other, they know no greater joy."

 

Nicole thinks Waverly might be the smartest person she knows. 

 

"It would be really dumb of me to expect all of the stories you tell me to be good ones," Waverly continues. She reaches out and takes Nicole's hand in hers. They stop walking, and Nicole turns to face her. The wind blows through Waverly's hair again and Nicole feels her heart melt in her chest. "But I think if we keep doing this the way that feels right," she murmurs, "then our story will be happier than all of your sad stories combined."

 

And it'd be totally ridiculous for Nicole to start crying, so she doesn't, but there's a knot in her throat anyway.

 

 

* * *

 

 

They don't talk for a while.

 

Waverly worries that she's said too much. She can feel the gears in her brain turn and overwork and overthink, and she can feel her hand grow clammy, even in the dream world, and she mentally kicks herself for the umpteenth time. 

 

She chances a glance up to Nicole's face. 

 

The sun shines from the other side of Nicole's head and over the profile of her nose and jaw, framing her in an almost-halo, and it's so beautiful and natural that Waverly's breath catches in her throat. Nicole's hair glows and she looks like she's caught up in her own thoughts and Waverly can't help but openly stare.

 

Nicole catches her.

 

"What?" she says, furrowing her brow, when she looks over and sees Waverly looking.

 

"Oh--uh," Waverly sputters and stutters and blushes. "Nothing, nothing. It's pretty here."  _Nice recovery_.

 

Nicole smiles, and if she notices Waverly floundering, she gracefully ignores it. "Yeah, it is." She looks around again, thoughtful and even, Waverly thinks, a little sad. "It always was."

 

Waverly blinks. "I always forget you know this place," she says through a smile. 

 

Nicole nods solemnly. She doesn't smile, her eyes growing wetter. "Yeah. My brother and I used to play here a lot when we were kids. In the real world, my grandparents have a far in southern Illinois, and we used to go there a lot. This clearing is part of their acreage."

 

Waverly offers a soft grin. "Oh yeah?" She doesn't speak much, just enough to let Nicole know that she's listening. She's getting the distinct feeling that this story is the one Nicole's been worried about telling, and she doesn't want to scare her off.

 

Nicole nods. "Um, have you ever been to Illinois?" Waverly shakes her head. "Well, the winters out there are pretty brutal. In southern Illinois, temperatures can get pretty low and, after a rainfall or a slightly warmer day, black ice appears  _everywhere_."

 

Nicole pauses. She looks around the clearing. "And when it snows, it can sometimes snow, like, a full two feet in one day." Waverly's eyebrows rise because, well, that's a  _lot_ of snow and Purgatory has cold winters but at least they're relatively consistent. 

 

"It was one of those snowy winters," Nicole says. She turns, hand still in Waverly's, and pulls them along so that they're facing the tree stump across the way. "My brother, Tyler, is a few years younger than me, and he was small as a kid, so whenever we went out to play our parents would always remind me to  _look after your brother, Nicole_." She shakes her head. "And it used to drive me  _nuts_. When I was thirteen, Tyler was eight, and my mom made me take him to the clearing with me when I went to build an igloo."

 

Nicole pauses and swallows. She looks angry, sad, and guilty all at once, and Waverly squeezes her hand. Nicole gives her a quick half-hearted attempt at a smile. "Well, he followed me and kept trying to help me build an igloo, and I was so annoyed with him that I shoved him away.  _Hard_."

 

Waverly looks down. She sees the tree stump sticking up in the grass and she thinks she knows what's coming.

 

"It snowed the night before, but not enough to be padding or anything. He fell backwards and hit his back awkwardly on the edge of the tree stump that I didn't know was behind him." Nicole is crying now, rubbing at her cheek with her free hand. 

 

Waverly reaches up and wipes a stray tear from her chin, and Nicole's responding grin is heartbreaking. 

 

"He was in a medically-induced coma for a few weeks to give his spine time to heal, and he can walk, but he does it with a cane and he gets tired a lot. He'll never run--" Nicole stops, her voice catching on  _run_. "He'll never run, or play sports. He'll  _maybe_ dance at my wedding,  _maybe_ his." She shakes her head. "And it's all my fault."

 

 

* * *

   

 

She doesn't want to look at Waverly, doesn't want to see what lies in her gaze now.

 

Nicole harbors guilt, real guilt for a real terrible thing that she did. And Waverly--Waverly's so  _good_ , so inherently good and wonderful. Nicole curses the vengeful, mocking universe that paired them as soulmates. How could someone as amazing as Waverly still want Nicole now?

 

She doesn't think she'll survive Waverly telling her she doesn't want her anymore, though.

 

"Nicole," she hears Waverly say. "Look at me."

 

Nicole pinches her eyes closed, feeling tears leak onto her cheeks. She takes a steadying breath-- _this is it,_ she thinks--and looks up.

 

Waverly isn't frowning. She doesn't look disgusted, or angry. She looks--well,  _sad_. "Nicole," she murmurs again.

 

"Waverly, I can't do this." Nicole pinches the bridge of her nose. "I understand if you don't want to see me anymore. I do, really. But I don't want to do a whole spee--"

 

"Don't want to see you again?" Waverly repeats. She sounds confused, and Nicole looks for her face again. "I was just going to say that you were just a kid, Nicole."

 

Relief, Nicole learns, feels like a punch to the chest. "What?"

 

Waverly nods. "Yeah, I mean, it's a horrible story and I'm  _so_ sorry about your brother, but you were just a  _kid_. God, I can't imagine what kind of guilt you've been carrying around  _for no reason_." Waverly reaches up and wipes a tear from Nicole's cheek. "And I don't understand why you think an accident when you were little would make me want to stop having you in my life."

 

Nicole feels her chest swell. Her face flushes and her eyes burn and she doesn't think she can hold it all in. Something breaks,  _gives_ inside her and she chokes out a deep, anguished sob, collapsing into Waverly's body. Waverly catches Nicole against her and winds her arms around her back, rubbing circles and whispering  _it's okay, it'll be okay_ and  _you're still you to me_ in her ear over and over.

 

When Nicole wakes up, her head his throbbing but her heart feels light and when she inhales, she can smell lily-of-the-valley and she smiles.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! i'm so sorry this has taken so long for me to update, but i'll be moving much faster from now on i promise!! thank you all for sticking with the story as long as you have, i hope i can make it worth your while!


	7. what to tell my friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wynonna yawns loudly, blowing her morning breath into Waverly's face, making her nose crinkle up. "Good, babygirl. That's good."
> 
> OR
> 
> Waverly feels less lonely in her little town (that she hates), and Nicole begins to make plans.

Waverly opens her eyes and Nicole is gone. She's back in her room, back in her bed. The sun has hardly risen and the air is still cool. There's a knot in her throat and wetness in her eyes as though she's been crying, or is about to, and she thinks again of Nicole.

 

Just a tragic accident to an innocent child, and another, a sweet red-headed girl, took all the blame on herself.

 

For  _years_. 

 

Waverly's heart aches in her chest for Nicole. She can't imagine how many nights she'd lay awake, sick to her stomach from guilt and shame and regret; how many days she'd look at herself in the mirror and tell her reflection she wasn't good enough because of one mistake. 

 

 _Poor Nicole_.

 

Waverly lies awake in her bed until the sun rises in the sky and her alarm goes off. She thinks about pretty brown eyes over a smile, about wavy red hair blowing in an imaginary breeze, of the smell of sandalwood and strong, strong arms. Her phone beeps and she taps the screen once in a daze to shut it off. She runs to Wynonna's room, shoving the door open without knocking.

 

Wynonna is a heap of twisted blankets, tangled hair and limbs and crooked pillows. Waverly shoves her body over and slides into the bed underneath the covers, still warm with Wynonna's sleepy body and warmth.

 

Wynonna groans, "Hm? Wav'rly? What the hell?"

 

Waverly looks up at the ceiling and barely blinks. "I need to tell you something." Her voice is shaky and her heart is fluttering and there are nerves, strong and anxious in her belly. She takes a deep, steadying breath.

 

Wynonna yawns and stretches, hitting Waverly in the side with an elbow. "Is it so important that it has to be at the ass-crack of dawn?"

 

It comes bursting from Waverly's lips, rushed and breathy in a whisper. "My soulmate is a she." Waverly closes her eyes.

 

She doesn't see Wynonna look at her, blue eyes melting as she takes in Waverly's pale, nervous face. She doesn't see Wynonna smile softly, one dimple deep in her cheek as she brushes Waverly's hair out of her line of sight. She doesn't see Wynonna roll her eyes because  _god, Waverly, it's me_, before she comes back to herself and remembers that she's Wynonna, snarky and sassy and just a little bit of an asshole--and full of love, but heaven help the idiot that calls her  _that_. "Ok _ay_. She pretty?" she says finally, settling back into her pillow.

 

Waverly's eyes pop open. She releases a long, relieved breath and a her lips spread into a hopeful, joyous smile. She turns and shifts and wriggles so that she's pressed against Wynonna's side. "Yeah, yeah. She's  _super_ pretty."

 

Wynonna wraps an arm around Waverly, closing her eyes and sinking into the mattress. "Smart?"

 

Waverly nods against Wynonna's chest. "Mhm.  _Super_ smart."

 

Wynonna yawns loudly, blowing her morning breath into Waverly's face, making her nose crinkle up. "Good, babygirl. That's good."

 

 

* * *

 

  

Nicole is  _elated_. She wakes up with the sun, eyes puffy and lips swollen from sleep-crying--she didn't realize a person could  _sob_ in their sleep, but  _here we are_ \--and changes for school. For the first time, she hooks up her phone to the iHome-alarm clock and plays music as she showers, brushes her teeth and pulls on her clothes. She smiles at her reflection in the mirror and skips down the stairs, ruffling Tyler's hair as she passes him to grab a banana. 

 

"Hey, Ty." She peels the banana and bites into it, chewing loudly and reaching for the orange juice in the refrigerator. 

 

"Mornin', Nicky. What's got you so happy today?" He's sitting at the breakfast bar in the kitchen, cane propped against his stool as he chomps on a granola bar. Nicole notices how long he is, thin like their mother, lean and athletically built. He'll be tall in a couple of years, much taller than her, and she realizes how much he's grown, how she's been coasting through his life, but never truly _there_ like she wanted to be, out of guilt and shame.

 

 _Well, no more_. 

 

"Can I tell you a  _secret_ _?_ " Nicole leans in, stage-whispering  _secret_ behind her hand. She winks at Tyler, swallowing a bite of banana with a gulp of juice. Tyler nods emphatically, his long strawberry-blonde hair flopping over his forehead. "I'm in  _love_ ," she sing-songs. She can feel her cheeks flush.

 

Tyler gasps loudly through a smile. "Oh yeah?  _Loser_ ," he jokes, snorting. "So where'd you meet 'er?"

 

Nicole bites her lower lip. "So that's the secret part, okay? Can't tell Mom and Dad." Tyler nods, drawing an X with his fingers over his heart. Nicole smiles. "I had my soulmate dream, Ty."

 

Tyler's eyes go comically wide, shock and joy beaming through his smile. "But I thought we couldn't have those because of--" he trails off, gesturing over his shoulder. He doesn't say  _because of mom and dad_ , but Nicole hears it loud and clear.

 

She nods. "Me too, but--" she stops, shrugs. 

 

Tyler nods, his face serious and contemplative until he smirks. "So," he says, taking a sip from Nicole's glass of orange juice. "She hot?" Nicole smacks him in the shoulder and pulls her glass out of his hand roughly. He snorts. "Whatever, but next time, if you're going to pretend not to answer, you might want to not turn  _purple_."

 

Nicole's cheeks flame and she glares. When she punches him in the shoulder again Tyler laughs, and Nicole feels the weight of the world she'd been carrying lift fully from her shoulders. 

 

 _Waverly_ , Nicole thinks,  _there you go making my awake-life better, too_.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Champ Hardy is a  _dick_ , and Waverly is so sick of the excuses.

 

Waverly's heard it all before.  _Boys will be boys_ and  _oh, he was mean? It just means he likes you, sweetheart_ and every lame, bull-crap excuse in the book.

 

 _But if you like someone_ , Waverly thinks,  _why the heck would you be rude to them? _(It's pretty simple logic, really. And it's working on Nicole, she thinks.)

 

Anyway.

 

Champ Hardy and his  _idiot_ friends walk past Waverly's locker on their way to the boys' locker room near the gym every day at the end of school. Waverly usually has headphones in--she does  _not_ need to hear what garbage spews out of their mouths--but today her headphones broke and she can't pack her books into her bag fast enough.

 

"Hey, Waverly," she hears over her shoulder, and she heaves a deep sigh before turning around.

 

Champ is swaggering up to her, flanked on either side by his  _boys_ , his chest puffed and his arms hanging loose and wild. He sidles up to Waverly and leans against a locker near her, bracing his body with a meaty hand against the metal. "Hi, Champ," Waverly says, if only to be polite.

 

Champ raises and lowers his eyebrows, mouth settling into a smirk. "Anyone ever told you you're pretty cute for a nerd?" he asks, eyes narrowed.

 

Waverly frowns. "Ex _cuse_ me?" she asks. She crosses her arms over her chest and plants her feet on the ground in defiance--her first real mistake, she thinks with the benefit of hindsight.

 

Champ shrugs. "Yeah, I mean--" he pauses, chomps on a piece of peppermint gum loudly in Waverly's face, "--for someone so bookish, you're pretty hot. You should show that off some more." He quirks one corner of his mouth up in a half-smile that Waverly guesses he thinks is  _cute_.

 

Her belly rolls in disgust. "Well,  _Champ_ , not that it's any of your business, but I don't super  _mind_ being 'bookish,'" she says, making air quotes with her fingers around  _bookish_. "And I'm not here to look  _hot_ for you and your douchebag friends, so if you wouldn't mind, maybe get the hell out of my way." Waverly huffs and slams her locker, moving to brush past Champ and storm out.

 

"Geez, you don't have to be such a  _bitch_ ," she hears him mumble. 

 

Waverly's cheeks flame and she tries to keep walking--she  _really tries_ \--but she hears the telltale sound of Stephanie Jones' stupid lilting giggle, and she loses the last semblance of control that she has. 

 

"Hey,  _idiot_ ," she shouts, spinning around. "Maybe if you weren't so  _stupid_ , I'd be able to be my hot-bookish self without having to worry about dickheads like you and Stephanie." Waverly tosses a seething glare at Stephanie Jones, and she manages to swallow  _et tu, Brute?_ before it escapes her lips. 

 

She leaves as a chorus of  _oh shit, dudes_ and  _damn, bros_ echo through the hall. 

 

 _Thank the powers that be,_ Waverly thinks,  _that I have a soulmate, and that it isn't him._

 

 

* * *

 

 

"Ah, yes, little-miss track star, Nicole Haught." Nicole smiles sharply. She doesn't love the guidance counselor, but everyone in her class has to meet with Dr. Somnios once during the semester to talk about applications. She doesn't like that he smells like cigarettes or that he always calls her  _little miss_ even though she's a foot taller than half of the boys in her class or that she's the school's varsity track star and in good standing to receive a decent athletic scholarship to almost any school in the country. (She wants to find Waverly, put herself near Waverly, but she hasn't quite figured out where that is yet.)

 

"So," Dr. Somnios says, settling in his desk chair. The black leather is so old that it's starting to crack in some places, and the thing squeaks and creeks under the good doctor's  _husky_ body. He folds his hands in his lap and watches her with beady eyes and Nicole sweats and flushes and prays for this to just be  _over_ soon. "What are you thinkin' about college, young lady?"

 

Nicole shrugs. "I'm not sure. I know I don't really want to be local, but I don't know where I really want to go." Dr. Somnios nods solemnly. "I've been scouted by a lot of schools this season, all over the country really, but I don't know which one is the right choice for me yet, I guess."

 

Dr. Somnios inhales so deeply, Nicole thinks he's yawning. "Alright," he breathes. "I suppose you still have some time." Nicole frowns. "How about this?" He heaves out of his chair with a low groan and waddles to a file cabinet a few feet away. He yanks open the middle drawer and pulls out a binder. "These are brochures from the schools that like to scout here. How about you pick--we'll say a dozen, in all areas of the country, and we can start with those."

 

Nicole nods and reaches for the binder. She flips through the pages and feels a ball of nerves settle in her belly. Between two folds of black plastic wrapped over cardboard, each laminated page feels huge and heavy and so important. She thinks of her parents' expectations, of wanting to make them proud. She thinks of Tyler coming to visit all by himself and getting to see a world outside the one they've always known. She thinks of televised track meets and NCAA champions and having her name on a plaque.

 

She thinks of her future with Waverly.

 

Waverly, with her moon-eyes and beautiful beaming smile. Intelligent, compassionate Waverly. Waverly, who looms larger than life and believes in the good in people. Waverly, who will change the world someday.

 

Nicole skims each brochure and thinks of the kind of person she wants to be. Ambitious and accomplished, disciplined, talented and worldly and well-read.

 

She wants to be good enough for Waverly.

 

(She thinks she might be, someday.)

 

 _Be the person you know you can be_ , reads one brochure. She plucks it from the binder immediately, along with a few more and she's holding a stack of them when she leaves the office, determination strong in her chest.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 _This is it_ , Nicole thinks as she opens her eyes to blinding sunlight. 

 

She spent the last few days staring at the spread-out pile of college brochures on her desk. She gets as far as opening a few of them--maybe three, maybe four--even filling out some personal information in the online application forms before she panics, freezes, and bolts from the house shouting  _I'm going to the track_ on her way out the door.

 

Nicole doesn't want to pick just  _any_ school. She wants the right school--not too big, not too small, not too cold, not too warm. 

 

Not too far from Waverly.

 

She knows that she's older than Waverly by two years--she's the same age as Waverly's sister, Wynonna, she thinks. What better way, though, to get to know  _real-life_ Waverly than to pick up and move to wherever she is with this wonderful excuse?

 

(Now if only she knew where Waverly lived.)

 

Nicole looks around. It's not the clearing where Tyler's accident happened, mercifully. They're in a big, wide field, but it isn't like the very first dream. There are beautiful mountains with snowcaps near the horizon, a wooden fence marking the edge of some property.  If she squints, Nicole can make out a rundown, old-looking ranch house. There's a wooden frame marking the edge of a short driveway, and Nicole can see the edges of a sign nailed on the other side of it. 

 

_Where am I?_

 

Nicole spins around slowly and takes in the area. There's a barn not too far from the ranch house, also old-looking, and some trees and rolling hills. She thinks she can see a stream in the distance, too. 

 

But no one else, for what seems like miles.

 

"Hey." Nicole hears a familiar voice from over her shoulder and she spins so quickly she stumbles over her feet.

 

 _Waverly_.

 

She's in high-waisted black jeans and a maroon cropped sweater. Her hair is wrapped in a bun on top of her head and earrings dangle from her ears, bouncing and swinging as she walks--no, _stomps_. Her arms are crossed over her chest tightly and her brow is furrowed, lips pursed.

 

Waverly looks  _pissed_.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Waverly  _hates_ her stupid small town. Daddy told her to  _get over it, boys are dumb_ and Mama told her  _it's a compliment, sweetie_ and nobody wanted to hear Waverly's speech on the injustices of the way women are treated nowadays.

Seeing Nicole sure helps, though.

 

(Well, not enough that Waverly isn't super mad, but her chest feels warm in the comforting, I-really-like-seeing-your-face way that she's groan accustomed to feeling around Nicole.)

 

(It's nice.)

 

 She sees Nicole's throat bob once, her face stricken. Her eyes are wide, but Waverly gets distracted by the one-too-many-open buttons on Nicole's blue button-down shirt. She has well-worn blue jeans on and her hair--like always--glows in the autumn sun.

 

Waverly secretly thinks it's a bit of shit that their dreams are taking them to these places--Tyler's accident, the damn  _homestead_ , of all places--and she tosses a glare at the rotting wooden fence as she walks along it. 

 

Obviously, though, Nicole doesn't know this place, like Waverly hadn't known the clearing where Tyler got hurt.

 

Waverly wants to keep Nicole separate from this  _shit_ town, protect this perfect little thing that's all her own.

 

Nicole raises a limp hand and waves slowly, carefully, quirking one corner of her mouth up into a half-grin. Waverly's heart flutters because Nicole is sweet and pretty and it's a little bit crazy how seeing her makes Waverly's tickle and flip and tumble already.

 

Waverly stalks right up to Nicole and gets into her personal space. Nicole's hands fall to her sides and Waverly leans in, resting her head against Nicole's chest. Nicole's arms wrap around Waverly's body automatically, pulling her in and holding tight. Waverly sighs.  

 

"You okay, Waves?" Nicole asks. 

 

 _Waves_. It sounds sweet, charming in Nicole's calm voice--not as pretty as  _Waverly_ sounds, breathless and awestruck as it falls from Nicole's lips and Waverly burns with it--and Waverly closes her eyes. "Yeah, yeah." She takes a breath. "I just hate where I live."

 

Nicole makes a choked noise and Waverly can hear her heart start to speed up ever so slightly. "Oh?" she asks, her voice raspy. 

 

Waverly groans and pulls away, an exasperated, facetious smile on her lips. "Ugh, yeah. I can't wait to get as far away from this stupid town as I can." She shakes her head. "As soon as possible."

 

 

* * *

 

 

 _Um_. Nicole shakes her head quickly, nearly imperceptibly. _Well, what if I came closer instead_ _?_

 

Nicole's nerves beat around in her belly. She wants to say it,  _what if I came closer_ , but she doesn't think that's what Waverly wants to hear.

 

(She doesn't want to think about how much it would hurt if Waverly told her no,  _thanks, but no thanks_.)

 

"U-um," Nicole stutters. She closes her eyes and breathes through her nose, gathering her bearings (and her shattered plans) and swallowing them down. "Do you want to do something fun?" she asks. 

 

Waverly smiles, really smiles, and Nicole's struck momentarily dumb by the sight of it. Waverly's so  _pretty_ , and even if this isn't what Nicole wanted, she thinks she'd do pretty much anything to see Waverly smile again. 

 

"I knew seeing you would make me feel better," Waverly murmurs, putting a hand on Nicole's arm. Nicole's heart  _swells_ and she beams. Her whole body feels warm and her skin tingles where it's touching Waverly's.

 

She closes her eyes hard and  _thinks_ , and they're back at the beach again. 

 

Waverly's in her bikini, and she looks around startled. She opens her mouth to speak--ask a shocked question maybe, knowing Waverly--but Nicole wraps a hand around her wrist and pulls, taking off on a run towards the water's edge. 

 

The water licks at their toes and it's chilly--not too cold, but Nicole was hoping their dream world would at least have  _heated water_ , but here we are--and Waverly squeals. Nicole doubles down, pulling Waverly's body against her and lifting her with arms wrapped around her waist.

 

Waverly shrieks, giggling and squirming in Nicole's arms as she trips and they both tumble into the water. Waverly comes up, breaking the surface and sputtering, wiping water from her eyes. She looks shocked, her hair wet and matted to her head and her jaw slack. Nicole smiles sheepishly, walking backwards as carefully as she can and shrugging once, sheepish.

 

Waverly smirks, eyes narrow and determined, and she lunges for Nicole and pulls her into the water again. She pushes and they sink deeper and Nicole fights against Waverly's hold, poking her in the sides when Waverly refuses to release. Waverly squirms and leaps away, giggling and splashing.

 

"You're right," Waverly says through her laughter. "This  _is_ fun."

 

Nicole smiles, smiles, smiles. 

 

 

* * *

 

  

When Nicole wakes up, she's smiling and her sheets and blankets are tossed and tangled. 

 

She's angry at herself for losing her nerve, but when she hears the echo of Waverly's laugh in her mind, she smiles anyway. 

 

 _Worth it_ , she decides. 

 


	8. 'cause baby that's all i need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I think--no, I know you, Waverly." Waverly smiles. "It hasn't been that long, and it may not be real life in here--" she stops, looks around, "but how I feel about you, Waverly. That's real." 
> 
> OR
> 
> Nicole grows courage and loses it nearly as quickly, and Waverly has questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW I'm SO sorry it's been so long, you guys!!
> 
> here is the next installment in this story, thank you to everyone who's stuck around!!
> 
> as always, feedback is welcomed and appreciated.

_Okay_ , Nicole thinks.  _Enough is enough_.

 

She's been seeing Waverly in her dreams for  _months_ now. She could tell you Waverly's favorite color (purple), her favorite food (sweet and sour soup with a dollop of peanut butter, and  _what the hell, Waverly?_ ). She could tell you that Waverly has different smiles (one for when she thinks something is cute, or sad, or funny, or when you do something that surprises her), the way her laugh sounds different when she thinks something is  _really_ funny. She could tell you that direct sunlight brings out the blue in Waverly's eyes, and anger brings out the amber rings in them. 

 

The point is, Nicole thinks she knows Waverly pretty well. 

 

Deadlines are approaching and essays are being written and Nicole has no idea where she wants to go to college.  _Still_.

 

Because the one thing she doesn't know about Waverly is where in the world she  _is_.

 

(Or her last name, but Nicole thinks if she had one she could deduce the other.)

 

Now, she's just biding time, waiting for her next soulmate dream. But, well, it's taking a while.

 

Sometimes, when Nicole is on one of her runs, she daydreams of running all the way to Waverly. She wonders if she'd knock on the front door of an old house, if Waverly's mom would get it and if her dad would be watching sports on the couch. She wonders if Waverly would jump into her arms the way she does in their dreams, or if she'd be nervous and shy. Nicole imagines tripping over her own two feet walking into the house and Waverly's giggle, her soft, fond smile.

 

Nicole imagines getting to hold Waverly during the day, getting to smell Waverly's shampoo in real life and feel her soft skin. Nicole imagines leaving her favorite sweater behind by accident and then seeing Waverly in her dreams, who says she sleeps in Nicole's sweater every night. She imagines seeing Waverly's bed and sitting on it, getting to be where Waverly is when she's dreaming with Nicole.

 

Nicole loses track of time when she daydreams about Waverly. She runs for thirty minutes longer than she intended and goes home exhausted. She showers and makes it through a fast dinner before settling into her bed. By the time her head hits her pillow, she's asleep.

 

This time, they're on a riverbank. It's not windy, but it's brisk, and Nicole wraps herself up in the fluffy sweater she's blissfully wearing. She looks around.

 

Waverly is walking along the water. The light breeze sends her hair twisting and flying in the wind, and she squints against the sun's rays.

 

Looking at Waverly makes Nicole's heart race], her breath shallow. Waverly's so  _beautiful_ and it's as though Nicole learns this anew every time she sees Waverly's face. 

 

_How did we get here?_ she thinks, a soft smile on her lips.  _How did I get her?_  

 

Waverly seems to sense that she's being watched, or that she's not alone, and she suddenly spins and sets her eyes on Nicole. She beams, bright and clear and stunning like the sun, and walks swiftly over.

 

* * *

  

"Hi!" Waverly says as she jogs up the riverbank. She places a palm on Nicole's arm and squeezes. "How've you been?"

 

Nicole shrugs. "Good, I guess." 

 

Waverly's eyebrows furrow, her chin cocking to the side. "You guess?"

 

Nicole shrugs again. She reaches up and rubs at the back of her neck, staring intently at the toes of her shoes. 

 

Waverly frowns. "Nicole?"

 

Nicole squeezes her eyes shut. She takes a breath in through her nose, releases it out through her mouth. She catches a whiff of Waverly's perfume, the cloud of lavender that seems to follow her everywhere. She pictures Waverly, her smile, early in the morning. The first thing she sees when she wakes up.

 

After dreaming about Waverly.

 

"Who are you?" Nicole blurts out. Her eyes fly open and her voice is too fast, too loud. She jumps, startled with herself.

 

Waverly jumps, too.

 

"What?" Waverly's frown seems to deepen, shock blooming in her eyes. She reaches out for Nicole with a gently splayed palm, tentative and slow.

 

Nicole shakes her head, red hair flying about, wild and brilliant. "I-no, I'm sorry. I mean--"

 

"Nicole," Waverly interrupts gently. "Come here, sit with me." She drops slowly, first to her knees, then down fully to the grass. The sun dances along the planes of her face, lighting the blue and green and amber in her eyes. She smiles gently, always gentle and soft, and Nicole feels the nerves begin to leave her body. 

 

Nicole falls to her knees in front of Waverly. She takes Waverly's hand between hers and chances a grin and she tries again. "I think--no, I  _kno_ _w_ you, Waverly." Waverly smiles. "It hasn't been that long, and it may not be real life in here--" she stops, looks around, "but how I feel about you, Waverly. That's real." 

 

Waverly pulls her hand from Nicole's and rests her palm on Nicole's cheek. She runs her finger over the bone, feels Nicole's eyelashes flutter against her skin. She says nothing, hopes that being there is enough, and she waits.

 

Nicole pauses for a long while before she speaks again. 

 

"These dreams, this world we have for just us--it's wonderful. It's amazing. It's--"

 

"A dream come true?" Waverly interrupts with a wry smile.

 

Nicole pokes her in the side and rolls her eyes. Waverly giggles, loud and free, and butterflies create a tornado in Nicole's chest.

 

"This place, it's incredible. But, it's not real."

 

Waverly's smile falls instantly. Nicole's heart cracks in her chest.

 

"What we have is real, but it's a secret. I can't make your face my phone background, or call you when I'm upset." She swallows. "I can't text you when I hear a song that makes me think of you. I can't send flowers to your house because it was a hard week and I want to be the reason you smile again. I can't get my  _ass_ handed to me by your sister because I can't meet her. I can't introduce you to my family or take you out to dinner or see you first thing in the morning. I can't--"

 

"Nicole!" Waverly shouts. Her eyes are darting and anxious. "Okay, I get it. We can't do anything together. In real life." She takes a breath, wipes under her eyes at tears that haven't fallen yet. "So, are you saying you want to...be done with this?"

 

* * *

  

The noise Nicole lets out can only be described as a chortle. Loud and shocked, and she clutches her chest in disbelief.

 

Waverly, for her part, glares.

 

"Um, Nicole." Nicole won't stop laughing, and Waverly grows irritated. "Nicole, what the  _shit_ _?_ "

 

Nicole sniffles. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She places a hand on Waverly's arm and rubs at her cheeks, bewildered. "Waverly, are you  _kidding me_?" Waverly's glare softens, but only just. "First of all, even if I wanted to move on-- _which I do_ _n't_ \--" she rushes, eyes wide, "I don't think we'd have much of a choice. Universe and all that." Nicole waves around absentmindedly.

 

Waverly nods. "Okay, fine. Then what the  _hell_ are you laughing at?"

 

Nicole smiles, eyes growing soft and fond. She stares at Waverly, her gaze intense and meaningful in all the ways that make Waverly blush and squirm.

 

Nicole watches Waverly like Waverly's hung the moon and the stars in the sky, and it makes her heart flutter against her rib cage, her cheeks flush red and warm.

 

"Waverly," Nicole says in a hushed, deep voice. "I can't imagine not being with you, now. I was going to ask you to tell me your last  _name_ , so I could find you in the real world."

 

Waverly  _beams_ , leaping into Nicole's body and wrapping her arms around Nicole's neck in a tight squeeze. Nicole catches her easily, body tightening under Waverly's weight, and she let's out a beautiful laugh, loud and free. 

 

Suddenly, Nicole feels Waverly's body lighten, lose it's solid mass and weight and begin to fade. She panics. "Waverly, quick. What's your--"

 

"Earp!" she shouts, body going translucent. "It's Earp!"

 

Waverly opens her eyes to her own bedroom, a nervous and giddy feeling in her belly.

 

* * *

 

 

Nicole wakes up early. Her alarm isn't set to go off for another hour or so, but she's too excited to fall back to sleep. 

 

She leaps from her bed and plops in front of her computer at her desk. She logs into her Facebook account, opens up Twitter and Tumblr and Instagram. She doesn't have accounts for all of them, but she searches for Waverly anyway--for anything she can find.

 

_Waverly Earp_. 

 

Waverly's Facebook has pretty low privacy settings--Nicole will have to tell her how to fix that later.  _"You never know what creepies and sickos are on the 'net, Nicky"_ her dad used to say. 

 

Waverly  _Earp_ is beautiful. (Of course, Nicole already knew that, but still.) She's beloved by everyone, it appears. Posts from her friends on her birthday--September 8th, Nicole notes carefully--and she's involved in just about everything under the sun.

 

Waverly in a cheerleading uniform.

 

Waverly in a hairnet, serving meals to the homeless the day after Thanksgiving.

 

Waverly in a band uniform playing a trumpet.

 

Waverly in a bikini, strumming a guitar with the sun shining from behind her.

 

Waverly catching a football in midair, two boys chasing behind her with smiles on their faces.

 

Waverly reading  _Anna Karenina_ in a coffee shop while her friends study.

 

Waverly in the front seat of a red jeep, her hair wild in the wind and her smile bright and the stars.

 

Waverly snowboarding, Waverly horseback riding, Waverly doing flips on a trampoline, Waverly baking cookies from scratch.

 

There's nothing Waverly Earp can't do, Nicole realizes.

 

And it terrifies her.

 

* * *

 

 

Waverly expects some sort of notification in the morning.  _Maybe there's a time difference, and Nicole isn't awake yet_ , she tells herself. She sips orange juice and tries desperately to slow her racing heart.

 

She leaves for school and tells herself  _wait, be patient_ , decidedly ignoring the growing pit of fear in her gut.

 

She studies with Chrissy and yells at Wynonna when she flicks Waverly in the back of the head in the hallway. She brushes off Champ and checks her cell phone almost every five minutes.

 

Before she knows it, it's sundown and she hasn't heard a peep from Nicole.

 

Nicole  _what?_ Nicole knows Waverly's name, Waverly's face. She knows how to find her.

 

So why didn't she?

 

Waverly goes to bed with tears in her eyes and a deep, cold sadness in her arms and legs. She doesn't dream on this night, but she wakes up with tear tracks drying on her cheeks and questions on her lips.

 

 

 


	9. is someone like you burnin' through me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waverly sucks in a small, shocked breath. Wynonna, who's neither prolific nor wise, smiles broadly. "When did you get so philosophical?" Waverly asks through a grin.
> 
> OR
> 
> Sometimes, there's fallout from your actions. Nicole (and Waverly) learns that the hard way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, so i know it's been FOREVER since i've updated this fic, and i'm so so so unbelievably sorry. i could give you guys a hundred excuses, but i won't waste any more space and just let you get back to the fic!
> 
>  
> 
> as always, comments are appreciated, both praise and constructive criticism!!
> 
>  
> 
> thank you to everyone who stuck around with me so that we can see this thing through!! 
> 
> (PS: i can tell you that the whole plot has been mapped out, and that i just need to wrap up fleshing it out!)

It's been a week.

 

_A week._

 

Waverly gave Nicole her last name and waited seven full days. No friend requests or follow requests or texts from random numbers she didn't recognize that say  _waverly?_ with some sweet emoji combination. 

 

Nothing.

 

For a  _week_.

 

Waverly doesn't sleep well anymore. There are bags under her eyes, deep and purple and angry. She frowns more than she smiles. Even Wynonna has noticed a change.

 

"Wave, what's your deal?" Wynonna asks over breakfast on the eighth day. She's munching on an apple gracelessly and drinking milk directly out of the carton. She pulls her mouth away and lets out a loud belch with a smug smile. Waverly turns up her nose in disgust.

 

"Geez, Wynonna, do you always have to be such a  _pig_?" Waverly rolls her eyes and shoves her books from the countertop into her backpack, fumbling and disorganized. She hears a piece of paper tear and she winces.

 

Wynonna's eyebrows shoot up. "Okay, now I  _know_ something's going on." She tosses her apple core into the trashbin and wipes her mouth on her sleeve. "You'd never abuse a book like that. So  _spill_."

 

Waverly doesn't respond. She pours herself a glass of orange juice and drinks it in two gulps. She slings her backpack over her shoulder and groans under the weight of all of her books. Glaring over her shoulder at Wynonna, she mumbles something about heading to the car and slams the front door behind her.

 

Wynonna frowns and feels her heart break, but she doesn't press it as she starts the jeep and drives them both to school.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Nicole doesn't sleep anymore.

 

Like, at all.

 

College application deadlines are approaching, talent scouts are making offers for positions, contracts drawn and scholarship offers compared. When Nicole isn't writing, she's running, practicing. 

 

When she isn't practicing, she's brooding.

 

Nicole has Waverly's Facebook account bookmarked. She has screenshots of Waverly's photos from cheerleading, volunteering. A lot of pictures with the same girl--one of her sisters maybe?

 

Well.

 

It doesn't matter. 

 

Nicole doesn't matter.

 

Waverly, with her perfect smile and her color-changing eyes; her massive heart and her strong hugs; her big brain. Waverly, and all of the things that makes her so  _Waverly_ , are too good for Nicole.

 

And that just sort of sucks.

 

So Nicole doesn't sleep much anymore. She writes her application essays and studies for exams and trains for track meets and spends time with Tyler. She starts doing her own laundry and she organizes the CDs in her room by color and in alphabetical order (by artist, not album name) and wishes with all of her heart that she could stop crying long enough to forget Waverly  _Earp_.

 

And when none of that works, Nicole curses the stupid universe for ever putting her with the perfect person she doesn't deserve.

 

 

* * *

 

 

"Alright, Waverly, enough's enough." Wynonna barges into Waverly's room without knocking. The bottoms of her flannel pajama pants--the ones she stole from Uncle Curtis when they spent Christmas with him and Gus--drag along the floor, the old wood snagging the frayed threads and tugging as Wynonna walks on. The door shuts unceremoniously behind Wynonna and she immediately flops across Waverly's bed, sending a few decorative pillows tumbling to the floor. 

 

Waverly, from her desk chair, rolls her eyes. She turns from her computer screen, where she's been hunched over for the better part of the last three hours, and she crosses her arms over her chest. "Can I help you, Wynonna?" 

 

(Though, judging by Waverly's tone and the exasperated look in her eye, she wants anything but to  _help_ Wynonna right now.)

 

Wynonna leans up on her elbows. "What in the sweet, sweet  _hell_ has been going on with lately, hm?" She gets up from the bed and wraps her arms gracelessly around Waverly's shoulders.

 

Waverly barely reacts. Stiff as a board.

 

Wynonna sighs. "Come on, babygirl, you've been like this for  _weeks_. Did the sleeping pills not help?"

 

Waverly glances at the sterile, white bottle on her nightstand. She can make out  _guaranteed to keep soulmate dreams away _on the side of the bottle in a calm light blue color. She wilts a little bit under the shame.

 

But, well, Nicole had avoided her too. Nicole had gone and vanished into thin air on her without so much as peep. 

 

And that  _stung_.

 

Waverly shrugs and bites the inside of her cheek. She glares at the pill bottle as though it causes all of her problems, like if she stares hard enough, she can burn a hole right through it. 

 

Wynonna frowns harder. "Waverly," she murmurs, running a hand over the back of Waverly's head, over her hair. "Talk to me."

 

Tears spring to Waverly's eyes. She stands out of her chair, suddenly frantic. "She said she would find me! And it's like she didn't even  _try_ , Wynonna. She just cast me aside like everyone else always does, like I didn't even  _matter_." She stops to wipe the tears off her cheeks roughly, wiping her nose on her sleeve. "The pills help me sleep. But then I wake up in the morning feeling  _guilty_ that I'm the reason we didn't see each other. And then I remember that I didn't see her and I  _miss_ her, Wynonna!" Waverly falls to her knees in front of Wynonna as if the sheer force of standing is so exhausting a feat for her. "I'm so angry with her, and I'm so lonely without her. I just really, really  _miss_ her, and there's nothing I can do."

 

Wynonna takes longer than she'd like to to recover. But when she does, she sits gingerly beside Waverly and wraps her body gently around her. She pulls Waverly's head onto her shoulder, petting her hair and her arms and her back the way she used to when Waverly'd wake screaming from a nightmare. Waverly, who's so smart and joyful and  _positive_ , hasn't looked so small and fragile to Wynonna in a really long time.

 

"Wave, it's gonna be okay," Wynonna tells her, even if she doesn't fully believe it. "If you want to see her, then maybe just  _try_. The universe was on your side when it put you guys together, wasn't it?"

 

Waverly lets out a wet, rueful laugh. "Oh yeah,  _sure_. Just look how happy I am." 

 

Wynonna grins softly. "Would you be this upset about someone you didn't love?"

 

Waverly sucks in a small, shocked breath. Wynonna, who's neither prolific nor wise, smiles broadly. "When did you get so philosophical?" Waverly asks through a grin.

 

Wynonna shrugs. "I am both a blessing and a curse, young Waverly." 

 

Wynonna leaves with a sloppy kiss pressed to Waverly's forehead. Waverly drags her sore, exhausted body into bed, and, with a wary glance at the sleeping pills, rolls over tries her damnedest to sleep.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Nicole wakes up in a clearing. The sun is shining a little too bright, the grass is a little too green.  _Oh shit_.

 

When she turns around, Waverly is behind her. She's tugging on her sweater, her hair falling behind her in a braid and blowing in the wind. Nicole gulps and waits for Waverly to recognize her.

 

It doesn't take long. 

 

Waverly  _glares_. Nicole gulps. 

 

Waverly stomps over to where Nicole is frozen. She looks furious--and beautiful, Nicole notes wistfully--as she comes to a stop in front of Nicole. "What the  _shit_ , Nicole?" 

 

Waverly is irate, indignant, flushed with righteous fury. Nicole, to her credit--

 

\--has no good explanation. Nothing satisfying, at least. "Hi, Waverly," she says dumbly.

 

" _Hi, Waverly?_ That's all you have to say?" Waverly tosses her hands into the air. "I  _waited_ for you, Nicole! I waited and waited and  _waited_ for you." Nicole sees heartbreak in Waverly's eyes. "I waited for you," she murmurs again, "and nothing came." 

 

Nicole feels a tightness in her chest. She tries to swallow through it, feeling her eyes burn with tears. "Look, Waverly, I can sort of explain tha--"

 

"You better have some sort of explanation, missy," Waverly says, pointing a finger in Nicole's face. 

 

Nicole lowers Waverly's hand slowly. "You're not going to like it, but fine." Nicole closes her eyes, takes a breath. "Waverly, I don't know if I can do this." If Nicole thought she'd seen Waverly upset before, it's nothing compared to the pained sorrow in her face now. "This soulmate business is so  _intense_ , and I just don't know how to handle it all. And you--" Nicole shakes her head. "Waverly, you're so  _good_ , and I'm just  _me,_ and I barely believe in all of this mumbo jumbo and I just don't--it's too much  _pressure_ , Waverly!"

 

Nicole stops and finds that she's shouting. Her chest is heaving and she bets there's a wild look in her eyes. She pauses, takes in what's in front of her. Waverly is crying freely now, staring at Nicole with betrayed agony. She doesn't speak for a while, stands in front of Nicole looking so, so sad. 

 

 

There's no way of knowing how long they stand, staring at each other silently and waiting for the other to speak first. Waverly's skin begins to take on that translucent hue, sickly and pale. She blinks more tears out of her eyes. "I never wanted to be a burden for you, Nicole. I'm sorry." And then Waverly fades away.

 

Nicole wakes up to her ceiling, tears drying on her cheeks and pillow. It's still a while before her alarm is meant to go off, and Nicole buries her face into her pillow and pulls her blanket over her face and sobs and sobs and sobs, a name whispering against her lips.

 

 

 


	10. oh and it's never fair, the way that we meet and you disappear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waverly's face crumples in anguish and she releases a harsh sob. She puts her mug quickly on the floor beside her so as not to jostle the liquid and she collapses into her own knees, devastated.
> 
> A door down the hall opens and quick footsteps stalk down the hall. Wynonna takes a breath, confused. _When did she get home? ___
> 
> __OR_ _
> 
> __They say distance makes the heart grow fonder. How far away does one need to be, per se?_ _

Tyler starts spending a lot of time in Nicole's room.

 

Nicole forgets to eat and she only sleeps when her body forces her. She checks her email and she goes to school and she runs and runs and runs.

 

Literally.

 

Nicole is waiting on an athletic scholarship that's _just enough_. The last piece of the puzzle to get her out of here.

 

If only she weren't so afraid to sleep.

 

* * *

 

Waverly is  _devastated_ , and Wynonna is totally at a loss.

 

She's been sobbing into her pillow on and off for days, and  _geez, the walls aren't soundproof_. Wynonna hears her at night, restless and whimpering into the darkness until her alarm goes off and frees her. Then, Waverly spends her days awake, but not really--in a sort of stupor, unhappiness in her eyes. It's like everything about Waverly that was so bright and vibrant has dulled to wisps of hues and dreary grays.

 

Wynonna knows she isn't really the  _sisterly_ type. But, well, she loves that kid.

 

So.

 

Wynonna skipped school today. Well, that's not anything special. She's sitting in Waverly's room with two mugs of hot cocoa waiting for her to get home.

 

That's pretty different.

 

The front door slams closed and Wynonna hears Waverly glomping up the stairs. Her steps, usually feather-light and skipping, are slow and even and heavy. Wynonna feels her heart crack just a little in her chest.

 

Waverly walks into her bedroom and sees Wynonna on the floor in front of her bed. There are heavy, dark bags under her eyes and her face is puffy and red. She looks positively  _miserable_. 

 

"Geez, Waves." Wynonna hold out one of the mugs, heavy and steaming and smelling like nutmeg and chocolate. Waverly tosses her backpack on the ground and settles on the floor next to Wynonna. She accepts the mug and sips her hot cocoa carefully. 

 

Waverly sighs. It's a hopeless sound, wistful and regretful and far too miserable for someone so young and small. "I don't think I want to talk about it again, Wynonna," she says. Her voice is hoarse, deep and low, cracking across her words as though it hasn't been used in days. Wynonna guesses it hasn't.

 

"Waverly, is this your soulmate's doing?" Waverly doesn't react, but her eyes get redder and her body shrinks in on itself. "Still? I thought you fixed all of that." Wynonna makes her voice soft and low and soothing. She tries to make herself smaller, tries to match Waverly. Mostly, she just wants to hold Waverly--and maybe beat the hell out of this girl who's hurting her so much.

 

Waverly's face crumples in anguish and she releases a harsh sob. She puts her mug quickly on the floor beside her so as not to jostle the liquid and she collapses into her own knees, devastated.

 

A door down the hall opens and quick footsteps stalk down the hall. Wynonna takes a breath, confused.  _When did she get home?_

 

Willa pushes open Waverly's door and glances around the room.

 

(That's new, too.)

 

" _What_ is going on here?" Willa meets Wynonna's gaze, alarmed. "What happened?" She's glaring at Waverly, confusion and fear in her gaze. 

 

(Willa and Waverly never really saw eye-to-eye, per se. 

 

Wynonna feels like some of that might be her fault, too.)

 

Waverly's shoulders startle when she hears Willa's voice. Wynonna's heart stutters in her chest, hoping that the fragile precipice they're teetering on between sadness and utter chaos isn't disturbed by the usually-absentee sister. 

 

Instead, Waverly sniffles. She wipes her eyes on the back of her sleeves and she rises, slowly. She manages to quiet her sobs, though tears flow down her cheeks, still unbidden. She doesn't turn around. After a deep sigh, Waverly says, simply, "Nothing, Willa. It's fine."

 

Willa walks into the room anyway. She shuts the door behind her and leans on it. "Did Wynonna just say 'soulmate?'" 

 

Wynonna shakes her head rapidly. "No, uh, nope--I did not say--"

 

"It's fine," Waverly says, putting up her hand to say  _enough_. She turns now, faces Willa with her body, but she keeps her eyes trained carefully on the fingers, twisting nervously together. "Yes, she did. I've had my soulmate dream." She shrugs. "It's, um, not going so great."

 

Willa nods. She stays quiet for a while--it feels like a  _long_ while, but, well, Wynonna isn't known for her patience--before she takes a deep breath. "You know," Willa says, and her voice seems to startle Waverly. She looks up, brow furrowed and frown firmly in place. "I had my soulmate dream the summer before I left for school."

 

Waverly gasps. 

 

" _What_ _?_ " Wynonna practically shouts.

 

Willa smiles softly. "It was--" she trails off, eyes going misty, as though she's looking not at Waverly, but  _through_ her, "--as magical as it's supposed to be. He was beautiful, kind. Gentle. The way he looked at my face..."

 

Waverly is still frowning. "'Was?'" Willa shakes her head.

 

"It's not what you think," she says, her smile growing bitter. "He's--well, he's a little bit older than me." Wynonna frowns deeply, eyes narrowing. " _Okay_ , he's a lot older than me." Willa seems to realize what she's said, to whom she's said it. Her face reddens, her eyes wide. "You guys  _can't_ say anything about this. To anyone. If it got out--"

 

"Willa," Waverly assures, voice calm and gentle, "we won't. Promise." She smiles softly. "Who is he?" she asks.

 

Willa--well, Willa _melts_. "His name's Robert. He's sweet, and he's wonderful. And in another life, we would have loved each other deeply." Tears well in her eyes. "But reality is reality. We can see each other in our dreams, but that's about it. I can't be with a man older than Daddy and expect it to just be  _fine_. But you," she looks at Waverly now, serious and firm, "you have a  _chance_ , Waverly. Whoever this soulmate is--unless you can't, you have to  _try_ , Waverly." She steps forward, reaching out to grab Waverly's hand in her own. She looks deep into Waverly's eyes, and Waverly can see hope, deep and tainted, but yearning. "You have to try."

 

Waverly nods once, squeezing Willa's fingers in her own. She feels Wynonna's hand rest on her shoulder, thumb rubbing circles into the skin. A weight lifts off her chest for the first time in weeks. 

 

_You have to try_.

 

* * *

 

 

Nicole zips up her athletic bag. She's tired, her knees and hips sore and her back aching. Another track meet over, another half-dozen business cards in an envelope in her bag. 

 

_Another day gone_. 

 

She walks out of the locker room and zips up her windbreaker. The weather held out for the meet, but rain is beginning to mist in the air, chilling with the wind and blowing Nicole's sweaty ponytail from the back of her neck. She shivers.

 

"Excuse me," she hears from behind her. "Are you Nicole Haught?"

 

Nicole turns, and there's a man in a long, dark coat walking towards her. His hands are in his pockets, and she can see salt-and-pepper hair peeking out from under his baseball cap. The logo has begun to fade, but she can see  _Knights_ from this far away.

 

_It can't be_ \--

 

"Yes, sir, I'm Nicole Haught." She sticks out her hand to meet him. 

 

"Cal Skipper with the Pacific Northwest University Knights." He grips her hand and gives it a firm shake. "You've got quite the pair of running legs on you, kid."

 

He's casual, with a handsome smile and bright blue eyes under the brim of his hat. His cheeks are rosy and his gaze is honest; Cal Skipper is the first recruiter that doesn't make Nicole's skin crawl.

 

And, well, it doesn't hurt that he's from her top-choice school.

 

Nicole smiles, nods once with humility. "Thank you, sir."

 

Before she can say anything else, Cal Skipper is talking again. "Please, call me Cal." He reaches into the pocket of his suit pants and pulls out a metal business card tin. He opens it and hands one to her. "Listen, if you're interested in coming out to our university, there's a spot for you on the cross country team." He shakes her hand again. "Give me a call."

 

Cal Skipper starts walking away before Nicole has even realized. "Uh, thank you, sir, I will," she stutters after him. She throws her gym bag into the trunk and closes the car door behind her. She sits, frozen, staring at the card in her hand, for too long. The sun is lowering towards the horizon by the time Nicole gets home.

 

"Hey," Tyler says from the living room as she walks by. "Where have you been?"

 

Nicole simply holds up the card in response. When Tyler sees it up close, he shouts in her ear, throwing his arms around her. Nicole smiles, broadly, truly, for the first time in weeks.

 

* * *

 

 

_You have to try, Waverly_.

 

Waverly sits in her bedroom alone, thinking. She hears it over and over in her head, sees it, feels it. Willa's broken whisper, her sad eyes, Wynonna's desperate grip on her shoulder.

 

Nicole's tears. 

 

Waverly stresses. She  _hates_ the feeling of missing someone, the emptiness. But this is worse; it's like a piece of her heart is walking around in the world and she can't find it. Can't protect it. Can't take it back.

 

Willa had been so open with her, honest and real in a way she hadn't been since--well, never. 

 

Meeting Nicole did that.

 

Waverly's staring at the ceiling, hard. The little dots on her popcorn ceiling are starting to twinkle and dance in her vision, like stars. It's making her dizzy.

 

She doesn't notice falling asleep until she opens her eyes in a clearing.

 

* * *

 

 

Nicole took almost no time to fall asleep, exhausted emotionally and physically by the day.

 

She opens her eyes to see a wide-open field, beautiful rolling mountains in the distance. She looks around, catches sight of Waverly in jeans and a sweater, facing away.

 

Nicole's shoulders tighten, butterflies batting around in her belly. Slowly, she walks towards Waverly.

 

"Hi," Waverly says without turning around. She sounds defeated, her voice low and without its usual melody. It makes Nicole's heart ache. 

 

Nicole sits down in the grass, a respectable few feet between her and Waverly. She folds her hands and places them in her lap, her back straight and stiff. "Hi," she says back.

 

There's silence for a while. The leaves of some nearby trees rustle, the grass whispers, as if every element of their dream world is trying to fill the quiet.

 

Waverly, though, is deafeningly quiet and frighteningly still.

 

Nicole glances over to her after what feels like hours. "Look, Wave," she says, resigned. "I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I'm just--I didn't know this would be so  _hard_ for me." Her voice cracks, and Waverly finally looks at her properly. "It's a lot of pressure, being someone's soulmate," Nicole whispers.

 

Waverly kneels, facing Nicole, maintaining their distance while shrinking it slightly. "Nicole," she says, making her voice gentle and soft. Her eyes are shining in the sunlight, her skin glowing and her hair falling in waves. Nicole's heart aches because  _how_ is Waverly so beautiful, and how is that fair? "I don't want some epic, tortured love story or fairytale. I don't want a massive, grand thing." Waverly reaches out, pulling Nicole's hand towards her and squeezing her fingers. "I just want you in my life." A single tear falls down her cheek; Nicole watches it, traces it with her eyes. 

 

Nicole nods. She wipes away her own tears as they fall with her free hand, gripping Waverly's tightly. It's the first contact they've made in--in a long while, and it feels like suddenly breathing again after being underwater. "Okay," she whispers. "I'll try."

 

"That's all I can ask."

 

Nicole nods again. She feels uncomfortable, vulnerable, like she's naked in their dreamworld. She glances down at her body just to be sure, then rolls her eyes at herself inwardly. Nicole takes a deep breath, lets it out again. "Oh," she says, her voice suddenly loud. It startles them both. "I have some news." Waverly nods, watches her expectantly and waits for her to speak. "I committed to a school. Pacific Northwest University. They gave me a scholarship."

 

Waverly wants to leap at her, wants to wrap Nicole up in her arms and squeeze and jump and yell. But Nicole is looking at her with skittish eyes, her shoulders drawn up towards her ears. She looks like, if Waverly were to yell or make a sudden move, that she'd startle and run. So Waverly settles for her warmest, brightest smile as she says, "Nicole, that's  _amazing_ , congratulations."

 

Nicole nods and returns a smile, bright and shining in the sun. Her cheeks redden in a blush, and Waverly's heart flutters in her chest.

 

* * *

 

 

When Waverly wakes up, the sun is just starting to peak through her curtains. Her alarm will sound in a few minutes.

 

Waverly slides out of bed and sits at her desk. She boots up her laptop and types  _Pacific Northwest University_ into a search engine.

 

"Hm," she mumbles to herself, "the knights." Waverly pulls up a map, types in her address and searches the distance. 

 

"Hey, Wynonna?" Waverly calls towards the door. She hears a thump and a series of rapid stomps before Wynonna bursts into her room, disheveled and startled.

 

"What is it, Waves? Are you okay?" she asks between deep breaths. 

 

Waverly smiles. "I'm fine." Wynonna scrutinizes her face, squinting, until she finally relents, waving her head side to side as if to say _get on with it_. "You think the jeep could handle regular two-hour drives?"

 

Wynonna's frown deepens as Waverly's grin widens. The suns rays shine through Waverly's window in earnest.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!! thank you again for being so patient, this story really is a piece of my heart and i'm sorry it's taking me so long to get it to you. as always, let me know what you think in the comments, i welcome and read them all <3
> 
> one quick note: Pacific Northwest University is not real; i made it up ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


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